Posts by Jetsetlemming

You guys wanna get together in Killing Floor tonight for the potato gun potato? From what the arg wiki says you can get it in multiplayer and if one person buys it everyone in the server gets the potato. We just need to play a long game on some map and near the end amass all our money on one guy.

Quote from Hourences

It is a steamed potato.People found this by the way http://www.aperturescience.com/a/b/c/d/g/h/abcdgh/

Wonder what it counts down to

This just updated with text, and the gist of it seems to be that there will be a new puzzle tomorrow, and solving that might possibly do something to Portal 2, which for those of us who've preordered (like me! ) is already downloaded and ready to go, just as soon as it's decrypted.

I finally got off my ass and tried to get some potatoes. Following the wiki, I got five: Two from Super Meat Boy, Two from AAaaAAaA!, and one from Audiosurf (I can't get a Gold on The Device Has Been Modified to save my life). That covers a three of the whole FIVE potato pack games I actually have, the other two being Killing Floor and Defense Grid. $33 (Portal 2 preorders get -$5 off) for games that I'm not that hot on doesn't interest me. Are any of the others particularly, awesomely good? I tried The Ball's demo and didn't like it. It was just... pushing around a ball. Anything remotely complicated and puzzly got unwieldy due to the ball's size and momentum and the floatiness of your magnet gun, so it didn't really catch me. I got to a part with a bridge over lava and jumped off the bridge because there was a shore next to the lava, only to get stuck down there on a rock. Couldn't even suicide into the lava! So I just quit and uninstalled. I'm tempted by Kick It, since it's by the Dejobaan games, but it's a pre-beta thing so I'm not sure it's worth it.

I beat The Third Birthday. They actually bring back badass Aya at the end for a bit,

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only to kill her off. Turns out the entire game you've been playing as the 12 year old Aya clone Eve, who somehow inexplicably jumped into Aya's body to try and prevent her death when a SWAT team shot everybody up at Aya's wedding for no reason, which somehow shattered Aya's soul, which somehow created time traveling killing machine monsters. Also Eve's body left behind also somehow created a new race of creatures that inherited her memories called "High Ones", that go to war with the Twisted from Aya (Why? WHO FUCKING KNOWS). In the end you manage to time travel all the way back from three years later (hence the game's name) to the wedding. Aya turns out not to be dead but just dying, and she says something cool and then shoots the fuck out of the main bad guy (whose presence, existence, purpose, and nature go unexplained). She then tries to make Eve shoot her, in order to prevent that whole soul shattering time fuckery business, I guess (they certainly don't spell it out, or why Aya's fine for the moment despite being full of lead and covered in blood but needs someone to shoot her?). Eve refuses, what with being 12 years old and being asked to kill her mother figure. So instead they swap bodies and those sick motherfuckers at Square Enix pull an MGS3 and force you to shoot Aya... occupying Eve's body. So you murder Aya in Eve's body, and Eve permanently occupies Aya. Kyle says some stuff psychically while lying dead on the floor, and then there's a flash and suddenly, he's no longer dead! Wow! And then he says "aya live your own life, I'm going to go find eternity". Roll credits.

So this whole game has been about a 12 year old girl in the body of a 20-something looking woman whose main selling point is how her clothes shred and fall off as she takes damage, they kill off the main character, and completely throw out the window any sort of sciency stuff, or justification for anything, or maturity. Fuck the people who made this game, I hope they all get hit by a bus, one after another in a row.

On the final level results screen, I unlocked a maid's outfit. I've never been so angry at a video game as I am at this moment.

Quote from Izuno

There is so much potential with this thing. Obviously the current survival mode is most "game" of this...game...since it has inherent tension in it due to the day/night cycle combined with monsters and then of course the discovery element of the procedurally generated worlds. I know Notch has a planned Adventure mode which isn't supposed to allow for world modification...which in itself I think is a good additional mode to have...but I'd also like to see some kind of other mode using procedurally generated worlds that is exactly like survival mode except there is a pre-defined story or something. In other words, I think it would be fun to have say...um... a big prebuilt castle with walls of ...obsidian...or something that would require time/effort to gather materials/tools/geniusly-crafted-mechanisms-like-a-catapult-or-something-else-new-whatever to penetrate. Inside you have to do certain objectives like rescue the princess, kill the evil boss, free the slaves or possibly non-cliched video game objectives.After playing a lot of the survival mode I think some players get a little sick of exploring and building. Having a meta objective thrown on top of that could be an interesting additional mode and attract a new audience not typically interested in pure sandbox play.

Just an idea

You can download "Adventure" maps already. They're set up in an external map editor, with custom textures for signs and shit, and you just have to play by the rules and not break anything unless you're told to. I played through these two:

http://www.minecraftforum.net/viewtopic ... 0&t=190935

And really loved the experience.

Played two and a half hours or so of Third Birthday trying to beat it and be done with it, only for my power light to start flashing in the middle of the final boss. Had to give up, quit back to the XMB, and turn on USB mode because the people who designed the PSP all had downs syndrome (this also explains the thumb stick placement and lack of buttons). I was at ~95% when I started playing. Wtf.

Monster spawners have a little version of the monster they spawn inside of them, so you can identify them without waiting around for stuff to spawn. Had that spawner not been out in broad daylight (wait for nightfall), it would start shitting out zombies.

Quote from PogoP

Haha can't believe you guys are moaning about this. Social Network marketing is the digital equivalent of word of mouth, and its gonna do wonders for Battlefield 3. Liked

More like the digital equivalent of a pyramid scheme!

Quote from Taylor

That shower scene in Parasite Eve 2 was so empowering.

The Third Birthday makes that scene look like the "Get away from her you bitch" scene from Aliens. Third Birthday also includes a longer, less chaste shower scene, and if you beat the game 50 times in a row you unlock an extended version that shows her ass. Not joking.

The more I play and think about The Third Birthday, the more annoyed and angry I become at how much of a travesty some of it is, for example, the entire script, 100%. In past games Aya was basically as close as the game industry's ever come to a strong woman: yes, even more than Samus, as Aya is actually in the modern world and interacts with people. She was arguably even more human than Ellen Ripley, given her more balanced behavior around other people as a cop in PE1 compared to Ripley's distant/angry act (depending on the movie) when talking with other people. She stood in a crowd of people spontaneously combusting and reacted by chasing after the instigator. She watched a woman gorily, disgustingly mutate into a monster and attack her. She's killed her sister like three times, as well as many genetic offshoots. She's saved the entire world twice, and even more impressive, managed to have two realistic but not important or focused on relationships with men (her aborted date in PE1, and the PI in the good ending of PE2). Nobody got shit on Aya Brea.

And then, in the intro cutscene to The Third Birthday, Aya gasps and covers her mouth after seeing blood in a recording of past events. The people around her command her to go into the past and she follows orders without a word. She's been given plot amnesia, and has handlers talking in her ear throughout every mission. Their most bragged about gameplay feature pre-release was how injuries would shred Aya's clothes, leaving her half naked and covered in wounds if you didn't repair your armor. The game comes with a card showing off the various cosplay alternate outfits you can unlock. A meek, shy character from the first game returns, portrayed as a disgusting pervert, and openly salivates at the thought of Aya's "nubile" little sister.

To sum it up easily: It's offensive. That's a word that gets thrown around a lot as "really bad" but Third Birthday really is honestly offensive. Offensive in its treatment of women in general and Aya in particular, and offensive in how it shits all over what was my absolute favorite games from the PS1 era.

Edit: I should get PE2 on my PSP. Need to play an actually good game on this thing...

Edit 2: Also this is the game's manual. This is the first thing you see when you open up the game.

[Blocked Image: http://i.imgur.com/adcZa.jpg]

Parasite Eve 3: The 3rd Birthday on PSP. A very frustrating game. It's got a lot of genius mechanics that perfectly weasel into my brain, for example the RPG system involves combining and leveling up positive and negative effect genes on a grid, and customizing guns with parts you earn via a learning by doing system with each type of firearm and BP (like PE2) you earn by killing enemies and accomplishing side goals called merits (stuff like "do this section without getting hurt", "save the civilians", "kill this hard monster quickly", "use overdive a lot", etc).

But at the same time it has a camera that would make PS1 era games blush, with seemingly random disabling of the d-pad manual camera panning and the L button serving dual purposes of centering the camera behind Aya and locking on to enemies, making running away from things or pointing Aya in a certain direction a pain in the ass. Also some guns use manual aiming, like the sniper rifles or grenade launchers, and they don't default when you press L to aim in the general direction Aya's body is facing. No, because that would be smart. They instead will point right where the camera already is, so most of the time you go to use one of these guns you'll start zoomed in on the nearest wall and have to slowly pan over until you can actually see the monstrous thing that's been spitting acid at you this whole time.

Frequently related to the camera issue is the abymsal difficulty design. I had no less than six or seven insta-deaths in chapter 1, because at one point they spawn an invincible enemy and make you run away from it, and at multiple points along this run they lock you in an arena where you just have to dodge it until an opportunity to "overdive" (body snatch) into some other shmuck and flee arises. But the camera refuses to just point at the fucking thing without locking onto it, and when you're in combat locked on to an enemy you point your gun at it and slow down and take tiny little side jump dodges instead of full on metal gear body roll dodges, and oh by the way the fucking monster can teleport, and stunlock you, and kill you in two swipes of its 10 foot reach claw.

Also you're a body snatching time traveler but other main characters in the past can recognize you instantly in the bodies of other random people and refer to your current actions in the context of attempting to change the past. That breaks the expected logic of time travel so hard I feel significantly stupider for having experienced it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fj_yProUnEI

I wonder if that announced release date thing means retail release? Because I kinda see Minecraft doing absolutely horrible on store shelves, it's not the kind of game that can be sold on a game box. It's success has come from word of mouth and shared videos and stories.

Quote from Rick_D

yeah but then look at all the hacking and shit, it takes like 5 seconds to "hack" a turret, and longer to set it up (that welding torch looks so pointless) and .. my god all the canned aniamtions for doing things just take forever.now look at tf2, where the spy can just run past and slap down a sapper, or capping intel and shit is done so quickly. it just seems to me that they have a lot of things that don't seem like they are needed, and yet you have to stand there holding a button watching a bar fill up, and the rest of the game is flowing past you at speed, yet there you are standing still watching boring naimations play over and over again.

know what i am saying?

Wolf: ET did something sort of similar (capturing CP, setting dynamite, repairing the tank, using special items) all had a progress meter or a special bar that very slowly filled up. No animations besides your wrench wiggling in front of you or what have you, but still that delay as you needed to do things in an otherwise very fast paced game. I felt that it worked really well because your teammates had to cover you, or you took a big risk accomplishing something like repairing the tank. I almost always played engineer so I almost always had to deal with those progress meters, and I never got bored by it, instead it was suspenseful because of the risk I would take focusing on the job instead of combat.

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":3jeh2b72]No excuse not to have a HDTV now. Only like 5% of the people still have old tv's.If you spend 300€ on a console, 50€ on games, you should at least invest on a cheap HDTV.

I spend neither 300 (that symbol) on consoles nor 50 (symbol) on games. I have but a PS2 and Wii as far as consoles go, and only SDTVs in my house. All of my HD stuff is on my nice PC monitor. Feels good, man

Quote from Zyndrome

But Crysis 2 takes place in a concrete jungle!

And all the enemies are ganguro girls (don't google).

ugh fake tans

don't take it personally babe, it just ain't your story. A lot of people I've seen talking about it miss the overall forest for the trees, but to be fair that particular tree (possibly making out with your student) is pretty distracting. I like the overall story, it gives you an interesting moral dilemma to deal with, balancing your moral obligations with human nature.

Had another thought about quicksaving actually: I just wish at least you could manually save autosaves for later, like in Alpha Protocol. You could save any time in that game, but all that would do was take your last auto-save checkpoint and stash it away instead of overwriting it next time you hit another checkpoint. That let you return to points on command, without getting into that technical shit above my head about why quicksaves are hard.

Of course Alpha Protocol was a broken enough game that still only having autosaves for checkpoints it'd get broken by saving/loading...

tl;dr version: "Paying my $13 did not make Notch my personal game making slave! I'm going to count every single thing he does not directly doing exactly what I want as 'vacation'! I'm a gigantic asshole who should be purged from the human race! *three minute long continuous whining noise*" These are the kind of people that probably emailed death threats to Mojang when they announced they were working on a game that wasn't Minecraft (they certainly counted that work as 'vacation', look at Feb).

Quote from Steppenwolf

I'm wondering what plans Valve has for Source engine. As i see it they lose touch with the state of the art tech at an ever increasing rate.

I'm sure their billions will comfort them in the face of such a thought.

A $110 1TB external hard drive from Wal-Mart (could've got 2TB for $80 on Newegg but I needed it today), a case of Yuengling beer, and a MacDonalds fruit smoothee