The new year is coming...

You guys just need stronger stomachs, 2girls1cup is highly overrated.

2007 was a good year, passed the first 2 years of my degree, found an amazing gf and did some epic challenges (Three Peaks) and climbing to boot.

2008 hopefully finish my degree and get at least a 2:2 in it, preferably a 2:1. Keep the gf and get my climbing up a few notches, currently top-rope 6a+ and lead 6a so lets aim for TR 7a and lead 6c. Want to get in some decent outdoor stuff over 200-300m too, current highest one Ive done is 105m so feel like topping that.

Quote from ginger_lord

You guys just need stronger stomachs, 2girls1cup is highly overrated.

Yeah, that's over-hyped mainstream scat; you guys got to go to the underground and find the real scat.

the word scat reminds me of the scatman. i dont think he did his reseach before taking that name :\

Quote from Thrik

Your new years resolution is to make a serious effort to get into the games industry instead of pissing around with decade-old technology. Apply yourself properly and maybe you'll catch up with all these people five years younger than you now enjoying a career in the industry.

Meh, I don't think I'm really good enough for the games-industry anyway.

Might as well explain why 2007 was tits up, warning contains emo:

Professionally

I had a new job for the space of a fucking week in telesales, didn't like it much but I did my best till they let me go, saying they needed more experienced people. Sent me a letter asking me back recently, though on the same terms as before... fuck off you amateur cowboy cunts! Made a proper portolio of my work

Personally

Got attacked after a night out, nearly blinded in the process, self-esteem is slowly building back up and I'm still going out with friends on a regular basis. Nearly had a heart-attack when I found out Hannah had a near-fatal accident in the UAE where she nearly bled to death from falling through a glass pane. Ended up falling out with her completely, it was always going to happen but the way it ended up was not the way I thought, alas we will probably never speak to each other for a long time, partly my fault but some of it is down to her too. To say I'm upset is an understatement, especially considering I nearly lost her forever

2008:

Professionally

Get a fucking job somewhere, so I can start living properly, take no shit from stupid employers who piss me about and always follow up. Possibly think about going abroad somewhere for a few months, not sure yet.

Personally

Just.. be happy, gain more friends and maybe just maybe fall in love with someone who likes me back.

Quote from D3ads

Your new years resolution is to make a serious effort to get into the games industry instead of pissing around with decade-old technology. Apply yourself properly and maybe you'll catch up with all these people five years younger than you now enjoying a career in the industry.

Meh, I don't think I'm really good enough for the games-industry anyway.

lol stop talking bollocks you twunt. Soon as you get your thumb out of yer arse and get a new pc so you can work on the new tech you'll find its a piece of cake.

Did you go to Uni D3adlode?

If not, what exactly have you been doing for these past few years? Have you not had any jobs in the past few years? Why is your financial situation still where you have to rely on Christmas and birthdays to get moderately expensive stuff like PC parts? What do you do with all your time if you don't work or go in education? How has an entire year passed by with no improvements in either?

I'm not trying to insult you or anything, but it really seems like you just haven't moved forward with your life at all. You used to want to work in games, and now you're just giving up? And you haven't even gotten a basic job so you can get yourself newer hardware to make stuff for anything newer than HL1?

I think it's probably a confidence issue. To have not been able to get any job in the entirety of 2007 despite being at the age where you really, really should be working cannot possible be anything else. It's not like getting a job is even difficult in the UK, where even a shit Burger King job can give you a reasonable amount of cash. I'm not sure how you can even live at your age and not have a disposable income.

Get yourself some newer engine technology D3, so you can enjoy making stuff for newer technology. Even Source would be a huge step forward -- make some TF2 maps or something. It's not much different to HL1 mapping at all. While you're doing this get a piece of shit job at ASDA or something (since you've left it too long to do it while you're in college/etc) so you can get a taste of current gaming and its development tools.

I don't know why you even like to map for HL1 still, but have no interest in newer technology. The only possible explanation I can think of is that newer games don't run smoothly for you, which is why you like the guaranteed smoothness of HL1. Are you seriously saying you wouldn't like creating something beautiful like in the WIP forum if you could run those new games as well as you can run HL1? And again, Source mapping is so similar I can't see why you wouldn't. More people would play a good TF2 map, employers would take a good TF2 map more seriously, and of course you'd be able to realise your artistic vision better.

The only thing holding you back is your own will, and until you recognise that your life is going to continue flying past with no real progression. I know people who're exactly the same as you (and the same age), and it hurts me to see it happening. However, unlike those I don't actually know you in real life so I can be a little more honest.

I'd like to say the same to those guys too, but how do you tell a real-life friend they're fucking their life and prospects up the ass and have essentially achieved nothing?

Sort your life out, D3.

Thrik: the big mapcore momma.

Although thrik can sound a bit harsh here he's totally right. There's no excuse for you to keep working on HL1 besides not wanting to learn a new engine. My rig is a lot worse than yours and even though hammer 4 runs like shit and I can barely run HL2 at full quality I'm still working on my ins map and creating textures/models etc... Just for your information, I used to have a geforce4 mmx440 64mb (aka worst gfx card ever) for 3 years, I have only recently bought a budget dx9 card so I could run HL2 with shaders/hdr. Put yourself together d3, you have lots of potential, stop capping yourself with old tech

Now for my year... it's been pretty good. I started uni, was really motivated in the beginning but that motivation has kind of faded away lately. I just don't have enough motivation to do my best for it because the teachers never push other people too far. But it's still being a great experience and I made some good friends while at it.

Since I'm on summer vacation I'm working like a bitch on my portfolio. I even bought some ginseng so I can stand working 16 hours per day or so. My plan is to apply for a job in Europe in the next year (looking at you grin ). I also got a freelance job at southlogic studios, Brazil's biggest game dev (they made the deer hunter games) and it's being a great experience, since I'm working on a "next gen" title. That forced me to learn a lot of new techniques that will probably lead me to my dream job.

My relationship has been steady and I got no complaints about it (other than the obvious things). I just hope 2008 will be even better than 2007 was and that I land that job somewhere far away from Brazil and change my life completely

2007 Worked my ass off. Began studies and shit.

2008 Taking a 2-3 month backpacking tour in South-East Asia with

my buddies. Gonna visit Malaysia, Singapore, Brunei and Indonesia.

I'm so much looking forward to 2008.

HELL YEA!

Quote from D3ads

(...)

Professionally

Get a fucking job somewhere(...)

Personally

Just.. be happy, gain more friends and maybe just maybe fall in love with someone who likes me back.

Sounds like a good place to start to me. Optimism really is the way ahead. Wallowing is so 99

And the job will in fact also help you deal with the self esteem, as well. If you get a proper workplace, it'll help you get an identity of sorts. That's a major plus. As well as the obvious benefit of getting a stable income and being able to.. Buy stuff. Stuff is always good.

Can't really do anything else but agree on your choice of engine, though. Your computer could in fact kick a fair bit of ass compared, if you just upgraded your gfx for a very small amount of money, and maybe threw in a gig of bargain ram.. Eventhough the last part isn't really that necessary.

And well. If you keep on the right track, that really sounds like something that could work out for you. You should (continue to) socialize more, and, well, keep your spirits up. Truth be told, you do have your life ahead of you, but you're also getting older. So now would be a good time to start picking up the pieces and gluing them back together. I know they'll form a pretty picture once you're done.

Well I was at college for 5 years, I have qualifications in general IT and autocad (which isn't something that interests me anymore). After sometime of unemployment, I went on a computer hardware course, then later on I got a voluntary job for about 7 months. Further on from that, I got the telesales job and then when that ended there's been nothing. Seriously I'm not making excuses for myself but I am far from lazy, I've applied for Boots, Tesco, Morrisons, (ASDA!), Subway, Inkfish, Capital One, HMV, Virgin, GAME, city council, universities and colleges, loads of private firms, even the friggin police and I don't get anywhere! I even wrote off to over a 100 companies once and got 3 replies, what a crock of shite! I expect it's all lack of experience but how the Hell am I supposed to get experience if I can't get the job?!! I plan to raise Hell in 2008, in an effort to gain employment.

I like the challenge of working with HL and producing environments with detail that hasn't been seen in the engine, it doesn't mean I don't like other engines or anything, I just find them more perplexing and complicated. I don't like some engines as well, I mean look at that Unreal 3 Garden environment posted in the WIP thread, it's nicely built and everything but it looks like shit because of all the excess bloom and stupidly bright specular. It seems to be the case with a lot of new engines, make it all shiney and add lots of HDR. Crysis is the only game that actually moves away from that crap and strives to look real and actually bloody decent!

Source issues arrise because of Steam and needing to have Internet access to load everything up including Hammer 4. I use the Internet on another machine, it's how I like it, no single-player games other than HL2 + extras need to run through an external program to play online, they're always out of the box and run offline without any fuss. Don't get me wrong Steam is ok when it's working but it shouldn't be a necessity to play, it should be there as an optional extra. Offline mode never works, what's the point in having it? Why do you need the Internet to run a level editor? Makes no sense.

As for having money to spend on hardware only at Christmas, lol.. It's more a case of not really knowing what the Hell to ask for and thus it makes sense to ask for new games at al. Doesn't mean I don't buy stuff in between

As I said to dux, I think I'm at the quarter life crisis stage a little earlier or something

Cut your hair.

(I'm kinda serious, it's harsh but I might think that people don't take you serious when you enter their office with a trenchcoat, long hair and a megadeth tshirt with nipples and blood)

*sigh* Having long hair has nothing to do with it, most of my friends are in employment and some of them have lots of tattoos piercings and stupidly excessive hair-cuts. If you think I seriously walk into an interview without a suit and the like then you are pretty deluded.

It's stolve, ignore him.

D3, you really need to understand that not that many people care about HL1 anymore. Even 'big' mods like that Paranoia have barely managed to scratch most gamers' consciousness, because HL1 is so far in history for them they literally couldn't care less.

You need to move on from HL1. Even if you manage to make something wondrous for the engine that's never been seen before, most people will still think it looks like shit. The engine is so old that isn't simply incapable of impressing anyone, even where it's been heavily modified as Paranoia was.

You have to acknowledge this fact. Unless you want to continue applying for piece of shit jobs at supermarkets for the next five years, you need to move on and apply your clear passion for game design to something more appropriate to the modern audience.

There is absolutely nothing even remotely perplexing about Source mapping, so drop the excuses and get on with it. All your little tricks for HL1 are still relevant, but because there's a higher detail ceiling you can do so much more with them.

Honestly D3, the way you think is so outdated and generally weird for a guy in his twenties that it dumbfounds me. What's all this shit about separating your internet PC? What are you, 50? How can you possibly use a PC in this day and age that isn't hooked up to a permanent line?

Steam is something people just run in the background all the time these days. It hardly eats into your performance at all thanks to the wonders of modern hardware, it's useful to have all your stuff available at once, and for those of us living in the 2000s with broadband the whole offline thing really isn't even considered.

I've not even encountered the 'Run in Offline Mode' thing in about four years. Why? Because I have a connection plugged in all the time. It's just how computers are these days.

Honestly D3, what's up with you? How have you transformed from a passionate budding level designer into someone critically behind on technology, who hasn't really played any truly modern games (Games from two years ago like F.E.A.R. don't count -- and weren't you talking about F.E.A.R. months and months ago?), and who is completely unwilling to even try modern game development?

The only reason those Unreal Engine maps look so crazy to you is because you wouldn't have the first idea about where to even begin making one because you've fell so morbidly behind on technology. It's not like you just press a 'make map' button and all the mapper did is put the special effects into it. It takes just as much knowledge of engine limitations and skill as your HL1 mapping does.

I mean what, do you think engine limitations are something only HL1 has? Do you think it's not possible to push the detail ceiling on modern games and do something people never thought possible with the engine? Well, I guess your view of modern graphics is so blurred (due to having hardly experienced them) that it's hard for you to know what's pushing the limits and what isn't. I think it's that lack of comfort zone and familiarity that frightens you.

It's not too late to catch up and get yourself a real job, but it will be unless you take the advice everyone's giving you.

So far pretty much everyone has agreed with me in saying that you're a bit of a mess D3, and this is a sentiment that's been running for some time. Nobody wants you to stay like this, but nobody's going to hold your hand either.

Just think about being in our shoes D3, where buying a £350 graphics card really isn't that much of a deal because it's only a portion of our monthly wages, and we go to work every day and do something we love with guys who're into the same thing.

I mean bloody hell, do the lovely Source maps in the WIP forum not even inspire you a bit? Many of them absolutely piss off anything you could imagine creating with HL1, yet almost all of your HL1 techniques would translate over because the editor is almost exactly the same. You could pretty much immediately begin making stuff like that, albeit not at the same skill level (need to develop the skill first).

Even if you became the best HL1 mapper ever, it'd mean shit to anyone but the minority of enthusiasts still following the engine. They'd just think "Well, it still looks like ass in comparison to so why do I care?".

Wow thrik for core motivational speaker

i like d3

I think now would be the right time to post the "THIS CANNOT END WELL!" macro.