[HL²DM] dm_erayo

That's hilarious. You have light sources yet you place the actual light several units away.

That's hilarious you've guys yet to learn to atleast show the slighest amount of respect for a beginner's work.

But, anyway, as for your map it seems very dull. You have a good idea of architecture & using props. But that'll only get you so far, personally the map to me just appears to be a mesh of hallways. There isn't much that shows this being a "factory" of sorts.

This is a screenshot from Forsaken mod:

[Blocked Image: http://www.forsaken-game.com/gfx/content_107.jpg]

To me, this is a very typical industrial factory. Has grime, dark colors. Lots of metal & brick. And it's more than just a hallway.

Personally, I'd work more on a full layout, have some industrial machines, generators, water pumps, something.

Shot-By-Shot crits.

(I just realised I missed one out - but on the second to last replace that slope with steps.)

I've shown some specific points - but what it boils down to is that the rooms are empty and just filled with random props to try and fill it out. Avoid doing that. Make the rooms have a purpose - I don't know where on earth they actually make things in this factory.

The main thing you should do is study reference pictures of real factories. Because your map doesn't look like one at all.

Quote from curman

That's hilarious you've guys yet to learn to atleast show the slighest amount of respect for a beginner's work.

That's what makes me so fucking bitter all the time, just ask Evert.

I think for a begginer it's some good shit going on there, just a bit more practice in making something that serves a purpose and your stuff will get better over time.

Just don't give up!

I say its a solid start, but i agree its a bit dull.

comeone guys, don't you see he is here to show his map

wtf! dM-factory was made by me u stole my map name now u done a thing you didnt know but u did and u did and..

remove dat name.

ok here is my map :

http://www.lanmaniax.com/maps/html/hl2dm_factory.htm

remove dat name.

Quote from Fяэ&a

SRY guy but, i removed it yet -.-

yea.. it's better now.

Getting better.

Mix in some coloured lighting. Right now everything is very pale and even. A simple and effective way to add some spice to the lighting is to have a cool & large/powerful light source (such as overhead fluorescent tubes) and then accent it with incandescent lighting such as orange-ish bulbs etc. Check out the picture curman posted and also look at the SDK maps to get some lighting ideas.

It's easy to go overboard with coloured lighting so be wary of getting carried away

Quote from Nexus

comeone guys, don't you see he is here to show his mapwtf! dM-factory was made by me u stole my map name now u done a thing you didnt know but u did and u did and..

remove dat name.

ok here is my map :

http://www.lanmaniax.com/maps/html/hl2dm_factory.htm

remove dat name.

It's such an original name! He was clearly stealing it from you, right?

Quote from Nexus

comeone guys, don't you see he is here to show his mapwtf! dM-factory was made by me u stole my map name now u done a thing you didnt know but u did and u did and..

remove dat name.

ok here is my map :

http://www.lanmaniax.com/maps/html/hl2dm_factory.htm

remove dat name.

Jesus, I hope english isnt your first language.

Maybe sum less bright lightning inside?

Hope this helps you out a little. Sorry about the roughness of it.

[Blocked Image: http://aycu13.webshots.com/image/26532/2003726869981803211_rs.jpg]

hehe.. sure it will help