Need to find a new vein of motivation for personal projects.

You should do what makes you happy. If working on any particular project is not that, then take a break. Sometimes we just need a break, duder. Then again, sometimes we also need to fully move onto other stuff.

Since you only get one life fuck it, do whatever you want!

download unreal engine, do a couple tutorals, get amazed

Right, I took a 2 year break too and instead of looking back and feeling guilty I feel good that I did it because it brought me experiences and knowledge I wouldn't have otherwise. (Decided to read more, watch more movies, play more interesting games, take my photography serious, etc)

Although, with the flip of a new year I wan't to make something interesting related to games / game environments again, and there's no better time to do it but now with Unity, UE4 and VR finally coming, there's so much shit one can do the biggest challenge is picking the one that suits you best and only you can answer that question.

Yeah give UE4 a shot, you can make little projects quite easily now, not going to say it's easy though, but of all engines that I know of you won't find more documentation/tutorials to help you out than UE4, if you want to learn something that might end up in a game, try the new Unreal Tournament 4, there's never been a better time to contribute.

I also don't have much motivation outside work to do personal projects, because you know there's more to life than making games ... That's ok by me, I still spend a little time getting better with particle/special FX for games because I enjoy it so much, but even that I do quite well now so I end up making some at work

I'm fairly obsessed about making games, and have the same feeling that no matter how much I enjoy my work at a AAA studio, it's not a means for me to really express myself creatively. It's like writing someone else's book, can be fun but what I really enjoy is writing my own shit because that's how I can ever hope to get this weird connection between me and people that I crave for, or that external validation that I'm secretly seeking. I liked the Beginner's Guide for just that small bit where the author wonders about what drives him to make games, like would you still be making games if you couldn't show them to people? Are you happy by being an expert a something, making something impressive, or by creating a bridge between you and players?

Anyway, my advice would be to make small but constant progress towards whatever you want to do or be, and this does not mean necessarily mean just making levels or games, but maybe it's enough like HP said to try to focus your personal development, by researching stuff, reading stuff, getting inspired by other mediums, learning new tools not to make something but to develop your skillset, etc. and sticking to that regularly. I myself use my daily commute to work to make sure I do something constructive so I don't feel this stagnation of my skills due to having so little time and energy once at home to do anything I'd like to do for my personal development.

Very relevant:

http://imgur.com/gallery/Wb5GL

Perfectly nailed it with the comparison of writing a book @Corwin. Also understand what you mean @3Dnj (was actually noticing contribution from people like you in past months), there are these amazing tools right now, but you are either making a game yourself or... non-playable scenes(?). There's not really games you can mod for. And one weird thing is that the new UT has it's own kit, I mean downloaded UE4 and was a bit annoyed that I had to download another set of stuff for UT. (Haven't started anything on either after -_- bought a video course with some assets to practice, so I'm planning to at least do that)

Quote from Corwin

I myself use my daily commute to work to make sure I do something constructive so I don't feel this stagnation of my skills due to having so little time and energy once at home to do anything I'd like to do for my personal development.

How long your commute is, and what kind of thing you do? for the kind of commute I do, although if on the train, I can't seem to be able to do stuff. Between changes, bulkyness of the computer, not being already started on a project... I'm reading or trying to. I wis

Quote from blackdog

How long your commute is, and what kind of thing you do? for the kind of commute I do, although if on the train, I can't seem to be able to do stuff. Between changes, bulkyness of the computer, not being already started on a project... I'm reading or trying to. I wis

Takes me a bit more than an hour to get to work, I have a 50min long uninterrupted train ride and I find it a pretty good time to do some coding for a Unity side project, reading, and writing stuff down (e.g. game design ideas, articles, etc.) I agree though that when you have to keep changing trains or buses it's a pain, and not having access to the internet while learning a new craft is super frustrating sometimes, I have to tip toe around problems until I can go online look for an answer in 2 minutes. Not ideal, better than doing nothing

Linked this topic to a friend who fired back with this article

http://gingearstudio.com/why-i-quit-my-dream-job-at-ubisoft

@Corwin not having the internet stimulates you to find the answer yourself, which is the best way to learn I'd say.
I have that 40-50 min leg as well just, as I said, don't have a project to work... even in that case, would be basically impossible to work on 3D/level design/UI if I couldn't find a seat with table (which is what happens in most cases).

I really hope you finish de_highlands before you ditch source

I've always picked personal projects that are different from what i do at the job. When i did level design for shooter games as job i made two racetracks for rfactor in my freetime. Last couple years i spent making art for realistic environments on the job and my personal projects were scifi related. Another "project" was to get better at digital painting. I have some lose plans for my next project, want to do something super ornamental and baroque.

I watched something interesting the other day about how there's this general misconception that great projects come from Eureka moments and genius minds, but in reality, great projects are more like the result of a thousand problems solved along the way. Sometimes a stupid idea could bear great fruits. Don't give up! Art is 99% pain 1% pleasure

Quote from Minos

I watched something interesting the other day about how there's this general misconception that great projects come from Eureka moments and genius minds, but in reality, great projects are more like the result of a thousand problems solved along the way. Sometimes a stupid idea could bear great fruits. Don't give up! Art is 99% pain 1% pleasure

The only pleasure we get is from the line of horny chicks that totally dig people who make video games.

Don't you dare wake me up I'm having a great dream

Wake up Chris...

Quote from blackdog

Linked this topic to a friend who fired back with this article

http://gingearstudio.com/why-i-quit-my-dream-job-at-ubisoft

@Corwin not having the internet stimulates you to find the answer yourself, which is the best way to learn I'd say.
I have that 40-50 min leg as well just, as I said, don't have a project to work... even in that case, would be basically impossible to work on 3D/level design/UI if I couldn't find a seat with table (which is what happens in most cases).

It's a nice article, interesting to learn this kind of stories.
The opposite can also happen, people who made indie games for long and feel the need to come back to a company :

http://www.littlelostpoly.co.uk/leaving-the-comfort-zone/

But yes, i guess it's rarer.

I remember that article, yes makes sense of course. I remember reading for eg of a guy leaving MS for Google and then going back because didn't like the de-structure they have. Everyone has his needs, and one could want the security and benefits that only a big company could offer (although these days, "security" it's not so much, at least for the small cogs)…

But I would argue that they are actually not that different point of views @leplubodeslapin: the accent on both articles is the teamwork, Briscoe talks about being alone, the ex-Ubi talks about being in too much of a big team which leads him… well almost in the same situation.

Also Briscoe went to Valve, which despite being big, still has an indie attitude (apparently) and you have that authorship by working in smaller teams etc. So on paper, the best of both worlds!

Yep i agree with you.

Wow. I don't feel so alone after reading this thread. I've definitely had this feeling. Especially as a programmer where once the project starts to get nuts we start to feel disassociated from the project due to the sheer amount of foundational and bug fixing work. I want to be more involved in the playtests and process but there's just no capacity for it.

I started firing up unreal4 this year and working on it in my spare time. I try to force myself to spend a few hours each week whether or not I'm working 80 hours at my job or not.

...It's felt really good. It helps me remember why I got into video game development. The feeling of building something is still amazing.