What's going on with your life?

    Searching for an apartment in Zurich is really stressful! You have to be in the city and hotels are very expensive. And It's social selection at its finest. It's making me doubt my choice to study there!

    Would anyone be in Zurich and ready to lease a couch ?

    new hard drive for my pc, handy to replace the one my system has been warning me about for the past month.

    Only now though did I check which hard drive was being considered in bad form, it was the one holding my OS. So my sunday night is just me cloning my operating system over the new hard drive.

    Yay...


    update

    all went perfectly, which makes a massive difference from the usual 'everything breaks' situation.

    Man, 3 year old and look how far she comes :)

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    Quote from RaVaGe

    29 minutes ago, RaVaGe said: Texturing looks quite weird imo, i'd rather use a wood texture for the walls.

    It's clearly still in whitebox. Needs an art pass still!

    It's been a tough time lately. This year hasn't really been my year.

    Went out for beers with the few friends i had, they ended up being really weird and mean that evening. This one guy knows the girl i from my threads husband. And he kept talking about how he made a million a year and how he got a amazing car, etc etc. It was like he knew everything and wanted it to burn, just kept ranting. So, i ignore that and we start to talk business. I say i have an idea of how to improve the place i work at, if i would ever take over the company. Hypothetical bullshit talk over beer. Before i could even start explaining they told me it was a fucking stupid idea to take over and whenever i tried to tell them "well, let me explain.." i got interrupted so i got pissed and said "please let me finish". That's when all three told me i was being rude and if i did not stop they would leave. It was like they did not want me there. Stunned i just left, feeling pretty crappy really. So that was a month ago and i have not spoken to them since that. Kinda feels that the few friends i had left here are gone.

    Also my childrens mother is trying to get the kids to move to her town, 2 hours by car away. It's a battle i did not want to fight again, but i guess i have no choice but to fight till my nails bleed. Without my daughters i got nothing left.

    Car is breaking down slowly, money is running dry. It's like i am in a hole that i cant get out of no matter how hard i try. I really have a hard time to look at the future positive and with my chin up right now, hopefully, it all works out somehow. :)

    @Tisky I don't know what to tell you, man. You're constantly in a bad spot. I honestly catch myself saying "Does this guy never get a break?" every time you post. Maybe it's the environment, your social circle or bad coincidences - whatever you want to call it. To me, it sounds like you're just bouncing around without a clear goal. What is your purpose? What motivates you to get out of bed? Your daughters? Also, how well can you take care of them given the decline you say you're experiencing? Don't take this as a personal attack, but rather just valid objective questions.

    I mean, those guys just sound like assholes @Tisky. Sounds like you aren't particularly close so you're better off having nothing to do with people who make you feel negative like that. If something isn't bringing positivity to your life then it's not something worth investing any energy into at all.

    Not sure what your broader situation is, but you seem pretty unhappy. I've certainly been there and know the value of change. Is your town, job, general routine making you feel low? Change one or all of those things as a matter of priority. Variety truly is the spice of life, and it can be so liberating shedding the status quo and making new friends through a new job, etc. Screw the place you've invested time into if it's not doing it for you.

    If your ex is forcing a dramatic change in terms of your children, have you considered mixing things up yourself and going and living somewhere closer? Doesn't have to be the same town, but maybe getting the hell away from what you're currently dealing with is a possibility. I guess it depends on how much time you spend doing things in your current area that you couldn't live without.

    Of course there might be deeper issues like depression to contend with, and those won't go away no matter the circumstances I described above and definitely should be dealt with properly. However, general dissatisfaction with your lifestyle makes it all so much harder.

    Yes i guess its my daughters that get me up from bed, and hope that maybe this day will be different you know. I do not have many options really, moving is out of the picture since i cannot move further away from the kids mother, and moving to Gothenburg (a city i really do not like), or closer to it feels like a downgrade. When i was younger, i had my family here, my brother, my friends, my woman. It's like all those bits and pieces have been lost, piece by piece, and my options are lost with them. Living in a small town in the middle of the woods has its perks when you have children. Safer you know. I had a house together with my ex and she decided to split when the 2008 financial crisis was at a worst. At that point i was guttet and just wantet to move on for the sake of my own mental health, so we sold the house with a loss. Today i got a loan for the rest of this house, wich makes me inable to take a loan for a new apartment. So, if i wanted to move, i would have to take a loan for a new apartment, since, we have taken in so many refugees there are basicly no apartments to get (not even in my town). Zero. You could get in line and wait 10 years for an apartment in a big city tho. So you see, my choices of changing my surroundings are close to zero, wich makes my options close to zero really. The thing that gets me is probably that i don't really know what i can do. I've had my hopes for the education im currently studying, but its a long shot and far away. I went up 07.00 today, on a saturday. I have no idea what im going to do for the rest of the day except some studies, wich makes me feel im wasting time in my life. This drives me crazy, my heart is telling me to find a way, make life better for you and your kids you know, but im not finding any answers or ways to do that. I cant sit around hoping for change. :) When i was 15 i put down work making maps, mods and what not, i had dreams. I wanted to work for Valve or Blizzard, make games. Thats how i ended up here. Bing bang boom, im 34, and i feel that dreaming is actually nothing more than a dream. It used to be possible to do things. Everytime i climb up a step on that ladder i fall down two steps. Haha :)

    People of Europe, don't forget to check the events of the European days for patrimony (or whatever it is called in English (journées du patrimoine in french). In Paris there are so many things to do for instance, and if it's like that all over Europe, everyone is here for a treat !

    Have a nice weekend everyone :)

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