[L4D2] River Crossing

You should increase your water texture scale. Repetition is visible a lot.

Nice water. naawt!

And tell me how in the world someone painted a spray that big? I mean the none of you will survive spray.

Here are a few advices and criticisms. Don't take it too literally, I'm just trying to help. Good luck with the rest of it!

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Wow, that's some awesome feedback!

*edit* well damn, Corwin did me better with screenshots... And we both called some of the same stuff. Cheers.

Stuff that popped at out at me;

(Apologies if this seems overly negative. I blame my job)

By screenshot number;

16 - Angled brace made of concrete is odd. I don't think bridges actually do this. Also, the texture is still at 90 degrees and not matching the geometry angle. Those yellow traffic trash cans seem out of place under a bridge, especially with a random lantern there. Why is there a lantern there? You can make some visual narrative that could explain these things, like another survivor group using the trash cans to make a sort of barricade/shelter or something.

17 - Really long unbroken skyline. Antenna's, water towers, electric poles, buildings in the distance, needs *something* to break up a straight line. Huge building with plain brick wall is... dangerous.

19 - Skyline again. This place looks really empty (the ground). The light doesn't seem to cast an actual light on the ground even though it appears to be a pretty powerful light.

20 - Cool, running on busted up boats. Initially thought you could turn it into a dynamic prop and sorta sway, but that'd probably mess with nav mesh. Anyway... Those lights in the background look weird. The light bulb is visible, but the lighting on the wall starts like 20-30 units below it. Another really long unbroken skyline

2 - 2? Weird order of screenshots... Is that boat hanging halfway off a dock or something? It seems odd (ie, physically impossible, unless its resting on something). The wooden trim around the dock is slightly raised, but not under the handrails? Not sure if that was on purpose, it just jumped out at me.

3 - This one prompted my whole post. Ok... Unbroken skyline. Two materials for a building without something breaking the transition. The windows on the second floor of the building on the left look like they're doors. The building also wouldn't have 3 separate doors, within 10 feet of each other. The building on the right, are those awnings or balcony's? They look like balcony's, but they don't have rails. None of the buildings have anything else (gutter drains, power boxes, wires, etc)

7 - What are those black girder things on both sides of this bridge? This entire thing really confuses me. Is this a make-shift bridge or a 'real' bridge under construction or something? Would need a better look at it...

10 - DOOR TRIMS! Magical floating doors connected to a brick wall do NOT exist in the real world. The transition between floor textures is also a bit jarring for me.

11 - Window trims on the ceiling. Also, the texture tiling. You have it split in half on both edges. Something looks weird above the right doorway where the wall meets the ceiling. Not sure if its a different texture or lighting weirdness.

12 - Huge area with nothing in it. Cement bricks look GINORMOUS on the shop on the right. Malls don't usually have visible brick or concrete on the inside...

14 & 15 - Your lights here look weird. Place the light higher to the ceiling, turn off "cast shadow" on the light prop. Place looks too big as a restaurant too.

Ok your next set of screenshots are all named the same thing... Why do you hate me? Comments from top to bottom

1 - Is that a wire connecting crossing a river from lights to a generator...?

2 - The concrete barricade in the street looks really out of place, since it has nothing else there explaining why it's there. The apparently 50 foot long single piece of wood creating a bridge feels MORE out of place.

4 - Dock, connecting to some sort of rock thing, in the middle of a river? How do the boats get past this?

EVERYTHING - There doesn't seem to be any power lines in your part of the city.

Only thing i'd like to add to the (great) feedback above is that i'd post less screenshots. Most important thing i've learn about presentation is use 15 images maximum, people will lose attention

walk through the map on the route you'd normally take in nav_edit mode and check that the mesh is actually constant. it sometimes leaves gaps, especially on stairs (the only way to fix those is to put a flat clip-textured ramp over them and then nav_generate_incremental).

Quote from sarge mat

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I'd recommend taking a look at this regarding the clutter in your scenes. Feels obvious once you've read it, but it helps a lot.

http://www.shaddyconceptart.com/categor ... ets/page/2

I'd suggest fleshing out a narrative for your map. Currently, it doesn't appear to have one (or it has one, that you know of.. but it's unclear to the end user).

For example...

In the mall, everything is so clean. But there are dead bodies. What happened here? Did it close down before the outbreak? The stores look open and rather inviting, so guessing not. Would riots break out and stores busted into? It's possible. It's just too empty to be meaningful. The player will move through this area in 30 seconds and forget about it 2 minutes later.

The little courtyard with all the trash. Where'd the trash come from? It's the outside of an evac center, so it makes sense there'd be tons of people, but there'd be something to order those people. Like barricades making curved lines. Maybe a tent on the side for registration info? At least a trash can or two?! And why is there a sleeping bag (?) and lantern there? Out in the open, exposed, during the ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!

The whole 'crossing the river' thing. I still don't know if that's a real intentional bridge or supposed to be a makeshift bridge. Why would people create a makeshift bridge to cross the river? Bad stuff on their side? Evac center on the other side? Military outpost? Something? Speaking of makeshift bridges (if that's the supposed route), the long sheet of wood REALLY feels out of place. I would definitely suggest finding a different way to create a makeshift bridge (crane drops cars into the river? Plugs gaps with suitcases? Other equipment?) The other makeshift bridge in the last screenshot looks more genuine. And why are the boats there? Are they wrecked? But they have their lights on... Maybe they were evacuating people? But the area is lacking suitcases, clothes, dead bodies, etc. Maybe the boats were bringing something IN to the area? Military people? But there's no barricades or other equipment to suggest this either.

Make sure there's a reason for everything in your map being where it is. If it's there 'just because' then it may be better to change it or remove it

Or just give this a read http://%7boption%7d

Unplayable for me.

AI wouldnt pick up guns/health packs at spawn

AI kept on falling into the water (either on the wood planks by the first boat, or the 'car bridge' thing.

After the first bridge, where you have to go under the dock to climb up the ladder, the height clearance isn't high enough. I had to duck to get through.

Hella zombies always spawned on the rock to the side of the boat near the car bridge where nav mesh didn't appear to be connected. They just stood around waving at me menacingly.

Can't really give any more feedback than that. Tried playing through like 4 or 5 times, but since the AI kept on drowning themselves, SI's would get me or witches were spawning in choke points (ladder after car bridge, door in evac building). Tried noclipping through to get screenshots of stuff to point out, but apparently SI can still get you in noclip... so it wasn't worth the effort.

Also minus points on not having it packed into a vpk file.