Corwin, please let me know if you ever need to talk. I'm responsible for dragging your ass to Germany in the first place, and I don't want it to make you feel this way.
You know I think the world of the family you have built. Your dedication to your craft is what made you so good, and your family is another reflection of that dedication. I really do think they go hand in hand together, and not opposite like you make it seem. Having a creative outlet is extraordinarily important, and in time you may be able to share more of your own outlets with your kids, which will improve things tremendously.