Going crazy at work, need help!

Quote from Steppenwolf

That sounds more like a recipe for boredom, and it also sounds like something that will teach you to be someone who you're not. Why not getting excited when good things happen? If you're happy, fucking explode about it, let yourself be immersed in the good vibes and pour it somewhere nice, like be productive at work, be it personal or professional, or share it with someone you love.

As for the bad things, I like to believe they're there to test you in life, staying too calm about it might be easily mistaken by ignoring the issue, where the way I see it, you should control it, yes of course but should also use the anger to focus on finding a solution for the issue.

Serenity is not to be confused with apathy. For me it's a way to avoid things like emotional rollercoaster ride, depression and unhealthy anger.

What i mean with not get overexcited when good things happen is to accept that moments of luck and feeling super happy don't last forever. If you get desperate and on the constant hunt for such moments chances are that you spent more time being miserable and depressed because in most peoples lifes such moments are the exception not the rule and brain chemistry hasn't evolved in a way that it spills out luck hormones constantly anyway. In the end such a state of mind can lead to drug addiction or alcoholism.

With bad things the key is to not let them eat you up. Don't get agitated about some petty bullshit, wasting your nerves and health on it etc. For instance my parents they fight or throw tantrums over the most stupid shit like a spilled glass of water or a broken plate. Me i just clean it up and buy new plates if necessary. I don't let such things ruin my mood. Or say a random stranger on the street insults me. When i was young such an occurance had my brain spin for days. Nowadays i already have it forgotten after an hour.

Another thing is that as a matter of principle i don't envy people over status, money, material wealth, relationships etc. That also used to be different when i was younger and falls in the category of bad things that "happen to you" if you tote around such feelings.

Stepp the german buddah. Dalai DATISMOSTEFFICIENTJA

Quote from Dejavo

That's nice if you really can let things go. But if you only keep calm on the surface and internalize the frustration you just become passive aggressive.

But if you internalize the frustration you do it wrong. It's not at all about forced restraint. It's about actualy not getting frustrated because you learn not to put as much weight behind everything that happens to you.

I just looked this up quickly because i don't want to cite anything wrong. In buddhism itself the idea is that your suffering is caused by craving and aversion. And the way to deal with it (the "road to happiness") is to adjust your own expectations of other people and what you want. Make them lagom so to speak

Quote from Steppenwolf

But if you internalize the frustration you do it wrong. It's not at all about forced restraint. It's about actualy not getting frustrated because you learn not to put as much weight behind everything that happens to you.

I just looked this up quickly because i don't want to cite anything wrong. In buddhism itself the idea is that your suffering is caused by craving and aversion. And the way to deal with it (the "road to happiness") is to adjust your own expectations of other people and what you want. Make them lagom so to speak

Yes I agree with what you're saying. I meditate myself, or try at least. It takes practice though and It's easier said than done to actually not let stuff get to you.

I'm a bit conflicted though. I think it's really important to speak your mind when you perceive something to be done the wrong way. Otherwise you risk ending up being the quiet "nice guy" putting up a facade of agreement and consent while being frustrated and pissed of inside. It's neither good for yourself or the people you are pissed of at since it's dishonest and you don't give them a chance to better themself. Do this for too long and you start resenting the people around you.

The other end of the extreme seema bit to close to not caring about the outcome. Who cares if the customers receive lousy support. It's ok for this game to turn out mediocare. It's fine if I don't get that promotion. And so one. If buddhists ran the world I'd imagine few of the great human achievements in entertainment, art, architecture and technology would have happened. These men were driven by a craving for fame, women, money and so on. Buddhist Colombus wouldn't have sailed to america imo. I say this understanding that this probably would have been a happier world with less suffering.

Quote from Dejavo

Yes I agree with what you're saying. I meditate myself, or try at least. It takes practice though and It's easier said than done to actually not let stuff get to you.

I'm a bit conflicted though. I think it's really important to speak your mind when you perceive something to be done the wrong way. Otherwise you risk ending up being the quiet "nice guy" putting up a facade of agreement and consent while being frustrated and pissed of inside. It's neither good for yourself or the people you are pissed of at since it's dishonest and you don't give them a chance to better themself. Do this for too long and you start resenting the people around you.

It's one thing to put up with shit and internalize them and another completely different thing to just not care at all. Internalizing is bad, not caring about trivial stuff is another

I'm not saying you should not give a shit about anything, but you need to pick what truly needs your attention from what doesn't.

Quote from Dejavo

The other end of the extreme seema bit to close to not caring about the outcome. Who cares if the customers receive lousy support. It's ok for this game to turn out mediocare. It's fine if I don't get that promotion. And so one. If buddhists ran the world I'd imagine few of the great human achievements in entertainment, art, architecture and technology would have happened. These men were driven by a craving for fame, women, money and so on. Buddhist Colombus wouldn't have sailed to america imo. I say this understanding that this probably would have been a happier world with less suffering.

hehe I couldn't disagree more, most of the achievements that really stand out were made by people driven by passion rather than money or fame.

Using Columbus as an example and assuming his (and his empire's) main drives were fame and money, that lead to what? Complete exploitation and enslavement of indigenous people for their own gain, destruction of some of the most amazing civilizations the world has ever seen and destruction of unique natural resources.

A Buddhist Columbus main drive would probably be to uncover new lands, to learn with the indigenous populations and share culture with them.

Of course humanity doesn't work like that, and until people leave some of their materialism aside things are never going to change. One can only dream

forget buddhist columbus, internalisation of frustration, karma and passive agressiveness.

there is only one answer:

I'm totally behind Stepp on this.

My wife is a big dreamer, she enjoys getting excited over things even if deep down she knows it won't happen or there's only a very slim chance it does. That makes her an emotional rollercoaster to be around, as in a single week she will raise her excitement levels high and then crash down. The main problem actually is that I'm very realistic, borderline pessimistic, never counting on things I cannot fully control etc. so each time she gets her hopes up I'm instantly tempted to bring her down to Earth and she won't understand that and be pissed at me for not having "dreams".

I have dreams of course, they just rely on me working hard at what I love doing, not crossing my fingers to get what I want. I also realized over the years that things I want now, I may not care for in a few months, or that it may not be actually what I need, so that helped take a step back and consider where I put my emotional investment.

I seriously advocate distantiating yourself from stuff you have no control over and putting the bar for your interest/involvement in things high enough that you don't get affected by the stupidest things. I'm still learning how to do that every day, as I used to be very very affected by injustice in particular, but my life is way better for it already.

Quote from Dejavo

But if you internalize the frustration you do it wrong. It's not at all about forced restraint. It's about actualy not getting frustrated because you learn not to put as much weight behind everything that happens to you.

I just looked this up quickly because i don't want to cite anything wrong. In buddhism itself the idea is that your suffering is caused by craving and aversion. And the way to deal with it (the "road to happiness") is to adjust your own expectations of other people and what you want. Make them lagom so to speak

Yes I agree with what you're saying. I meditate myself, or try at least. It takes practice though and It's easier said than done to actually not let stuff get to you.

I'm a bit conflicted though. I think it's really important to speak your mind when you perceive something to be done the wrong way. Otherwise you risk ending up being the quiet "nice guy" putting up a facade of agreement and consent while being frustrated and pissed of inside. It's neither good for yourself or the people you are pissed of at since it's dishonest and you don't give them a chance to better themself. Do this for too long and you start resenting the people around you.

The other end of the extreme seema bit to close to not caring about the outcome. Who cares if the customers receive lousy support. It's ok for this game to turn out mediocare. It's fine if I don't get that promotion. And so one. If buddhists ran the world I'd imagine few of the great human achievements in entertainment, art, architecture and technology would have happened. These men were driven by a craving for fame, women, money and so on. Buddhist Colombus wouldn't have sailed to america imo. I say this understanding that this probably would have been a happier world with less suffering.

You raise some good points. But then i'm not a buddhist on his search for the perfect balance. I still have my fair range of emotions. It's just something that i always try to remember and apply when i can. It has helped me to a noticable degree not to feel miserable. During my teen years and early twens i always was so depressed. I have this much better under control ever since i started to worry less what other people think, stopped getting my knickers in a twist over pretty much everything and stopped being on the constant hunt for thrills and feel good moments.

I agree with you about speaking your mind. Very important to avoid lasting conflicts. What's also very important imo and what i only learned when i was around 25 is to say no. Now that's something that can create conflicts with other people but it's better then having an constant inner conflict because you do things that you really don't want to do or feel that others exploit you.

Minos: I think that passion generally is a rationalization for subconsciously wanting pussy. That's what were programmed to do after all. I agree with you about Columbus. Less suffering for sure.

I derailed the topic a bit and I'm totally behind what you're saying Steppen. Meditation is a good way to practice what you are advocating imo. Just being in the present moment and letting go of the past/future is a freeing experience.

That's awesome man, really happy for you!

Nice one dude! Glad to hear things are looking up.

One thing I've noticed about Mapcore recently is that a lot of people just 'like' posts and don't actually post. It's the damn Facebook effect!

You bastards.

Don't want to earn my spammer achievement too soon.

Sprony i can quite well get behind you, i'm working with a couple of lazy ladies and that sometimes really gets on my nerves. Then i think that if they were doing everything properly, in the afternoon (they're part-time) i wouldn't have anything to do very soon, or all of us wouldn't have anything to do some days. Sometimes it's just that the system is designed wrong.

Some companies are assholes. I work at a company where nobody do anything else than what they are told or less. So i started working hard because i like it and i wanted to earn more money.
After 2 years i am responsible for 80% of the companys production, car-wrapping department (i am the only one who knows this) and a new hi-tech cutting machine (wich only i know how to operate).

I´ve been promised a raise 3 times, gotten it once. So yesterday i barged in to my bosses office and yelled at them alot. Let my feelings go. I reached my boiling point.

It felt liberating and awesome since they said that they would discuss my raise today. Cheap fucks. Anyway, congrats to the baby and remember, a calm nice guy being really fucking pissed off scares people!

Quote from SpronyvanJohnson

You know what's worse? That a lot of people IRL come up to you saying how they love your status updates but on Facebook none of them clicks like

Troubles in the first world