I suffer from manic depression. I can confirm that it all doesn't mean dick when you are down. My wife and daughter can tell me that they love me. I can watch a good movie or enjoy a game. I can have a great night out with friends, have an article on the frontpage of Reddit or do a interview with a big developer. In the end I still feel like a worthless unaccomplished piece of shit.
I know that's my mind fucking with me. But if depression is one thing above anything else, it's exhausting. I can't blame people choosing to end their own life. I don't think it's a solution nor is it fair to those you leave behind with your pain, but people get tired feeling this way. I think it's even worse if you are successful because then you feel even more guilty about being down.
I never feel like giving up though but that's due to me growing up in the 80's and having a spartan upbringing. My father doesn't know the words 'giving up'. When I was young a older boy beat me up. I came home crying, told my dad what happened and he said "Losers quit, winners find a way". He sent me back outside and warned me not to return until I resolved this otherwise he would do the beating. So I returned to the older boy with a stick and fucked him up.
That's why every time I get really really down, I remember that lesson and I think about great movies from the 80's like Rocky and tell my depression.....
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