Posts by D3ads

  • How are you doing?

    In Flames were good once, but having seen them live at Wacken recently I honestly think they should call it a day!

    I'm going to the job centre tomorrow to sign on again, it's not a case of wanting to, it's a case of needing to else I can't pay my rent..

    Got a lot of content done for my project lately though, starting to shape up quite well, and hopefully you should be seeing a lot more of my work in the coming months.

  • Quick question for the yanks!

    Do you have high street butchers over there? I was trying to find some photos of an America butchers shop but I can't find any. In England butchers are most located in villages or on the outskirts of towns and cities.

    Sorry if this is a daft question, reason I'm asking is I'm making store textures and wondered if making one of them a butchers would work, since the setting is the outskirts of an American city.

  • totally random texture thread

    It isn't pure black, it's probably just your monitors, there's subtle colour in there. Perhaps it's still too dark though, I'll change it. The graffiti and wall are all seperate btw, I just combined everything for the shot.

    Quote from dux

    Deads can make stuff? What the hell

    Yeah, I'm not just here for shits and giggles y'know

  • How are you doing?

    Quote from Defrag

    D3ads, regarding you being attacked:Take some self-defence classes or take up a martial art. It'll do you wonders. A lot of the classes feature people like you and me (a bit nerdish, not really fighting types, wouldn't know what to do if attacked). Think about it: Are you more or less likely to take up a martial art if you're already confident about defending yourself? I've been going to a local instructor for approaching four years now (he teaches hand to hand combat to the special forces amongst other stuff) and I know I can handle myself these days because I know various things for every angle of attack etc. I'll never be a hard bastard or a great martial artist, but I now have a good understanding of what I can and cannot do and plenty of stuff in my locker for both recognising & dealing with various situations, including someone with a weapon.

    Also, if you find the right class and instructor, it will also do wonders for your self-esteem, get you fighting fit and teach you a lot about life in general. Just make sure you find a good instructor; avoid the cowboys (one touch of death!111 I will throw you with my Ki power!) & sport-based martial arts.

    If I can do it, it's almost guaranteed that you can, too. I've been trying to get my brother to take it up too as he was almost assaulted a few months back but he's wary of the effort involved. Once you're in and training it's grand, you just have to have the confidence to take that first step. Personally, it was something I always wanted to do but never got around to. Once I started, I was so glad that I actually took the first step. Definitely one of the best decisions I ever made.

    The reason I think this is a good route is that you can overcome your fears through confidence in your own abilities. When I started uni prior to starting training, I used to wonder if I was going to get mugged when wandering through the overpass to the train station late at night (almost happened once when two dickheads started asking me for money then started following me while abusing me). Nowadays I'm still careful to avoid trouble, but I'm much less worried about anything happening.

    If you're ever interested or want any advice on choosing an instructor etc. just shoot me a pm sometime.

    Thanks for the advice, it would help to have self-defence classes I'm not so sure about martial arts though as I'm not really that interested in it and it's a bit of a thing to have to learn that sorta stuff to defend yourself from fucking idiots who get their fun from beating people up. I think had I been sober that night I might have been a bit more assertive but I'd had a bit to drink and was feeling tired so I didn't fight back. I fucking hate people who invade my personal space, if someone gets up right close to me and grabs me or something I will not tolerate that and I'd be perfectly prepared to fight back as well as bite and/or scratch any fuckers that try to pin me down.. or even gouge their eyes out.. I have no sympahy for anyone who attacks me, leave me alone and I'll leave them alone I want no part in their so called entertainment of beating people up.

    Quote from hessi

    my advice: shit on the girl, focus on university. throw your self into work and get something out of you. when you are 30 years old, got a nice job, a nice apartment, money, a car you will surely find lots of girls. there like 3 Mrd. around the world, so one might fit to you cheers!

    Thing is Hessi, it doesn't work like that for everyone, some people are able to move on easy, others like myself find it very hard to look to other pastures. When you have feelings for someone, you want to be with them not anyone else, sure you can look for someone else and maybe get somewhere with them but if you go out with someone when your feelings lie with someone else then you'll be miserable because you want to be with the other person. It's all subjective but that's my 2$..

    seir: I can relate to your dilemma, having been through a similar situation myself for the last year, I don't really know what to suggest other than try and spend more time with your friends (you must have some.. surely?!) or perhaps family? Take your mind off of it by pushing yourself to work a bit more, I'm not saying force yourself to map or anything.. just do a bit more towards your work and build it up step by step, it wont distract you from your sorrows completely but it will help to take your mind off of things for a few hours at a time. I guess it helps if you spend as little time with this person as you can but if she goes to the same sort of places you goto that can be extremely difficult.. again I can relate to that annoyance! Getting out and about on your bike should relax you more as well

  • How are you doing?

    This is like reading Livejournal.. heh.

    Well I had another job not long ago in telesales but I only managed to last a week despite giving it my very all, they let me go due to 'not being productive enough for the company'.. lame. I wasn't getting enough sales I guess, it's a tough job though, you have to be a machine and be dedicated to making lots of money, whereas I really don't care so much about having lots of money. I'd of liked to have stayed there for at least a month or more to get some work experience, I didn't really like the job but it seemed to build up my confidence somewhat. Now I'm struggling (as per fucking usual) to get another job.. aghhh!

    My self-esteem has taken quite a hit after being attacked at night some months ago, I kinda thought I'd be able to get over it easily but it seems to be getting to me a lot. I think maybe I need to talk to victim support or something because I can't carry on with this, always being paranoid of everyone in the dark when I walk home or take the bus...

    The woman I love very much has left the country to goto the United Arab Emirates for a year to take a teaching job. I'm thrilled for her to have this opportunity and having heard from her recently it seems she's doing ok in her training, has to raise her voice a lot when teaching the older kids but it's making her more assertive which is one of the reasons she wanted to work abroad. I miss her a lot but it's early days yet so I guess I will find a way to cope with it. It's heart breaking that she couldn't return my feelings but alas she still had feelings for some other asshole who let her down all the time leaving me and others to pick up the pieces. I should really have let go awhile ago but feelings don't work like that do they? It's such a bitch. Hopefully whilst she's out there she can clear her head and come to a realisation about things and maybe, just maybe miss me a little more than she she thought. For now I'm trying to look elsewhere, I have a few friends who I think are nice but I don't really have any romantic feelings for them, I certainly don't want to force myself to move on anyway, that will only lead to misery.

    My grandma had a stroke over a year ago, leaving her severely weakened, we all have to look after in any way we can, it's not so bad because she does get out and she's a lot better off than a lot of older women but she's not the same as she was and I have to keep putting up with 'I wish I was dead a lot..' which is really upsetting and makes it hard to keep my chin up in order to support her when and where she needs it.

    On the plus side of things, I have so many great friends that keep me entertained and support me and I do the same for them and I'm always meeting cool new people all the time. Once I've got myself another job, in time I will try to move out of my parent's house and live with some people for a bit, maybe goto university but I'm not too sure about that at the moment. I'm thinking towards possibly going abroad for work in a couple of years time for awhile but I need to get settled here first and gain some local life experience before taking that step. In the meantime I'm applying for Free Radical when I've finally got all my portfolio material together, it's one of two local game dev companies I know of in Nottingham, England, the other being Monumental Games whom I applied for a couple of months ago and I never heard from them despite one of my friends being an employee there.. :/

    Life is a bitch, but it could be a lot worse I suppose.

    Ps: This is a serious thread, so none of that 'emo goth' bullshit please, keep that in EOT.