I run BF2 with all the settings full (only 1024x768 res though) and it runs without a hitch. Sometimes it takes a wee while to get into things due to issues with sound loading (first time you hear some sounds it stutters like crazy), but after you've heard them all once there aren't any problems. I have a 6800gt, Athlon 2800xp, and 1gb RAM.
FEAR is a bit of a different story and does stutter like crazy in places (eg. walking into the room with the maimed guy in the seat near the end...horrendous!). General performance was good though, even in the heat of the action with particle effects all over the place. I run it on high settings; I tried maximum first but it wasn't as smooth as I'd like.
EDIT: Tom, I think his main problem is that he just DID drop $500 on a new graphics card, yet STILL can't get "on top".