Posts by Tisky

  • Im so lost right now. Need advice!

    So sorry for bumping!

    I realized something after alot of thinking. This is much like being in love for the first time, you have no idea what you are doing. You think too much, about the things you did or did not do. What you should have said or not said. This is my first time being involved with someone already in a relationship and it works differently. It was kind of mind-blowing to realize this but after reading a (very long and good) article about the subject my eyes were opened.

    This, thing, we had, me and her. It was never going to be anything else than a thing and she has known it all along. The attention and love from me got her high and she liked it. Whenever she wrote family she meant her husband, she would never leave him for me. It was just never going to happen, whatever i did and howere i did it it was lost for me from the start! Her way of trying to be friends is most definantely her way of keeping me quiet about the whole thing or, to keep me for a rainy day.

    Facts are, she probably does love me. Just not as much as her husband and family, and if she would stop loving him, i would not be the next guy on the list. I am in the dark, where her husband is in the light. I am in the dark for a reason. I'm probably not the first (maybe i am), but for sure, not the last guy to be in the dark. She is most definantely intimate with her husband (and has been all along). Hard cold truth.

    I wonder why it took me so long to see this, most of this were pointed out by you guys. I guess, you want the dream so bad, you don't want to see the facts. I decided to test it out yesterday and contacted her. After some small talk i told her i wanted to apologize, for being selfish. After my friend told me that her husband was living a happy family life i realized that there is a whole family in the way of me and i said i think she was a good person (and some other bullshit). The reply was, "Oh thank you for understanding, but i never did lie to you (implying she is, and was indeed single)." The reply came a long time after reading my message, so i guess she paniced when she realized i know she is not single at all. I mean, why point out that she never lied to me, again. Haha. Now she knows i know about the bullcrap, i got the power to destroy a family (but i wont, coz, you know. Kids).

    I guess that's the actualy end of this whole story, My eyes are opened and my heart is shut off. She can live happily ever after with her family with the knowledge of it all being a house of cards. Feels good man. We can now retire this thread.

  • Im so lost right now. Need advice!

    Ah. I love this thread. After i had made dinner for my daughters i sat by the computer rolling my thumbs. Boy you really have much spare time without social-media. Folded clothes and did the dishes. Fucking new apartment and being clean. I need stuff to do so i don't think. I decided to read the whole thread again and now i feel much better.

    I guess it is easy to be blinkered and forget about the world around you.

  • Overwatch

    Lost 7, 1 draw and 2 wins. Ended at 2700 ish last season and placed 2460. So i am happy. Had so many trolls on my placement matches. This one tracer kept running around but not shooting. Only using her ult. So we lost by alot.

  • Im so lost right now. Need advice!

    Haha. Not at the die level yet, i know its over and it sucks. It bothers me that it could have been different but this is how it ended. I did what i could and it wasn't good enough.

    Her birthday next week, heart wants to send her flowers. Im not listening to My heart anymore. Its Broken and retarded.

    Im sad alot but i try not to be. Im positive it will be alright down the road, i just got to hold out and keep my head high.

  • Im so lost right now. Need advice!

    Awesome movie, haha. Out with a friend having beers last night. He is a friend of her husband.

    He started talking about how all his friends have the family life (he has No kids). After a while talking about that he used her husband as an example. '**** lives the Happy family life. They are so Happy and do stuff together all the time!'

    Either he knows/suspects something about me and her, or she simply lied to me all along. So odd to use that guy as a reference.. I could barely sleep last night because all the thinking my douchebag brain decides to do.

    How the fuck can i just not let this shit go. It keeps coming back!

  • Im so lost right now. Need advice!

    Yeah, one day i think she is a bitch and all that stuff, next day, you are lonely and miss her like hell. The trick is to stay busy but its not easy. Movies almost all My stuff this weekend, that fit in My car and that i could carry myself. Being sad really makes me less lazy ?. Something good!

  • Im so lost right now. Need advice!

    The last few days i have been thinking about it all, again. Trying not to but it gets me angry, and annoyed. Why the fuck is it so hard to just let it go? Even the mother of my kids was easier to let go than this. What is wrong with me? Anyway, all thoughts, i have not done anything, no texts or that shit. I got the keys to my new crib yesterday and i have started to move my stuff. Attic and basement storage is empty now and the kids room is almost empty too. Next saturday i will get help from some friends so i can move the heavy stuff!

    Feels really good to move, i hope it will help me think less about stuff. Like, just watching my bed today i can see her in it, memories haunting. They are nice memories but after a while i keep thinking of her being with that ugly ass husband of hers and it all starts to feel unfair. The phone call that fucked it all up and me not really knowing if she is lying or not. I just can't wait to get out of here, it's really killing me inside.