Posts by Taylor

  • Nintendo DS

    I completed blue on a plane from UK to Florida, and when I got there everyone was liek "zOMG pokémon" and I ended up watching the fucking movie with my little brother. Also ended up with a load of cards, which I scanned in and showed to mapcore peeps to RUIN MY ONLINE SOCIAL STATUS, if that's even possible.

  • Half-Life 2

    (BIGGER SPOILERS THAN A RICERS CAR)

    A bunch of shit engineered so you don't understand it held together with plot devices that are either subtle or not actualy in the game doesn't exactly strike me as a good plot. In fact, I'd go as far to say as the plot in HL2 is the worst thing about it, and the availability of a book to explain it just throws in the notion that it was intended for you to buy the damn book just to understand it in the first place.

    There are games out there with things you don't understand in them, ones with elements you only notice after a couple of play-throughs, ones that make you slap your forehead, or even ones with deep psychological spins on all the characters, Silent Hill for example. But they have a main plotline that is easy to follow, whereas HL2 seems to be "LOL MYSTERY" and "HERE'S ENOUGH INFORMATION TO GET YOU TO YOUR NEXT CUTSCENE" every step of the way and the only piece of the mystery that you're sure about, is that you're a giant tool.

    Even ignoring the main storyline, the gman is quite unmistakably shown talking to that supposedly British commander with the rocket launcher and the rebels on TV. So everyone is collaborating together to use you as a giant pawn, as are the scientists, as is the gman himself to the point he freezes you in time to use you again (wow, Gordon you’re the coolest mute tool ever), in fact I was pleasantly surprised to see it didn’t end with a Hollywood style plot twist wherein Dr. Breen was manipulating you too, though he did say he would - I expect they’re saving that one for HL3, which they may as well advertised at the ending sequence. And even what you have has flaws in it, for instance all the zombies are clothed like BLACK MESA SCIENTISTS.

    There is nothing about the appearance of the combine or the 7 hour war - you tear down a regime you know literally nothing about because some scientists tell you to. You know nothing about what the combine are, what there motives are, and it doesn’t even explicitly say they were the ones controlling Xen (slaves, we are their slaves). But you do get treated to a lot of psychobabble, countless loose ends and a book that tells us that everything in the first game was a complete waste of time.

    (repost of HI forums follows:)

    As for the conclusion; you get what could be the most anti-climatic ending ever devised since "congratulation" so the gman can walk off all suspicious again and you can hope for answers in HL3, which presumably will end with obnoxious foreshadowing for HL4.

    "Gordon, this is a Dark Fusion reactor!" "Really? That's great honey, but I still don't even know what this fucking building is, you have noticed the way expands, right? And it’s all alien-like? And who are those skinny dudes? If they look like that under the gear, how did barney get a job? Did you not see the huge alien? WHY GOD? WHY AM I A MUTE?"

    "Gordon, you've destroyed lots of stuff! But what have you created? Betcha can't name anything" "You got me there, I'm not even sure what I'm fighting for, those guys I know who didn't say anything other than "he is bad" are here, right? I think my global scope for this entire sharade is just to save them so I can be their bitch again. I don't know what you're up to, where I am now, where I am geographically, what the year is, or if that's air I'm breathing now, but I'm sure coming up there you kill you with this gravity gun that, through reasons unknown, got really powerful touching that device that I don't understand."

    “Yes Gordon, you did it! (?)” “Fuck! Oh ok, quickly now, what was the deal with-–" "BUY THE SEQUEL, COMING SOON*”

    * not soon.

    Though, ranting aside, the game is pretty much flawless in all other regards.

  • Attention all Brits and Europeans

    The pensioner bet on a horse race and stood to win lots of money, the bet (totescoop 6) works by choosing SIX horses, all of which finished in such a place to give him lots of money. However later they were disqualified - getting him voted as the unluckiest gambler ever. A winner of a similar bet, being a fucking loon, was going to give him a fifteen thousand share of his prize money after hearing about it, but the unlucky pensioner has since been afflicted with death - so he can't.

    The end.

  • World of Warcraft - Open beta

    I enjoyed every minute of WoW personally, except when I was running back to my corpse (but that was my own stupid fault), mainly because while I was spending most of time killing the same thing over and over for the sake of "quests," I could quite happily start crafting, exploring or raiding at any given moment. And there was always some disgruntled horde player running around whom the entire zone has to track down and kill because he's totally not from around these parts. And experience unlike, say, Anarchy Online which had the entertainment factor of me skewering both my testicles on a kebab.

  • Anonymous essay from a spouse of an EA employee

    I would definitely endure it if it were worth it, but EA is EA. I'd love to work somewhere like Blizzard, in fact the crunch as a certain appeal to it - I know I perform a lot better when the pressure is on, because it kills off my rampant procrastination and when it's all over everyone is all buddy-buddy.

    (I know some people are going to post "BUT OMG, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE" as if only they have to work weekends and overtime, though. Try doing that with something you hate doing.)