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Time to move on..

  • FrieChamp
  • September 3, 2007 at 1:12 PM
  • zaphod
    • September 5, 2007 at 11:55 PM
    • #61

    stop stealing my business

  • mikezilla
    • September 6, 2007 at 12:03 AM
    • #62

    It's a competitive industry.

  • Izuno
    • September 6, 2007 at 12:08 AM
    • #63

    sorry but "synergy" was phased out years ago.

  • Taylor
    • September 6, 2007 at 1:09 AM
    • #64

    I want you to propose a "visceral analysis."

  • mjens
    • September 6, 2007 at 10:33 AM
    • #65

  • narby
    • September 7, 2007 at 8:30 PM
    • #66

    friedrich is a bi

  • PS_Mouse
    • September 8, 2007 at 4:12 AM
    • #67
    Quote from Izuno

    sorry but "synergy" was phased out years ago.

    Thank christ; I've never been fond of that word.

  • KungFuSquirrel
    • September 8, 2007 at 3:51 PM
    • #68

    It's ok, it'll take a few more years for everyone to catch up.

    BTW, on a similar note, if your workplace in the video game industry ever uses the words "action" and "item" together in one sentence that doesn't involve the in-game inventory, it's probably time to run.

  • Defrag
    • September 8, 2007 at 4:07 PM
    • #69

    That's my pet motherfuckin' hate. Which middle-management dickhead decided that action is a verb?

    Here's something that cracked me up:

    [Blocked Image: http://www.office-humour.co.uk/includes/images/items/2004/11/2413.jpg]

  • Furyo
    • September 8, 2007 at 4:39 PM
    • #70

    That reminds me so much of my former career

  • Wunderboy
    • September 8, 2007 at 5:01 PM
    • #71

    Ugggh. And mine. Swedish marketing types speaking Swenglish peppered with bullshit words.

    "We're number 1 at establishing near-shore beachheads!"

    Doesn't that mean you're shit? I thought the whole point of a beachhead was to capture and secure a large area away from the shore? So what, you can barely get out of the boats or something?

    "Lets do some blue sky thinking"

    Yeah, I'm thinking I wish I was lying on a beach somewhere thinking about blue skies not sat in this bloody meeting.

    Fscking tools...

  • Izuno
    • September 8, 2007 at 9:40 PM
    • #72

    let me give you a run down of a conversation I had with potential client once. This isn't word for word but it's pretty damn close:

    Client: "What we really want to do is pick up on market synergies to maximzie brand potential."

    Izuno: "Ok. So what does that mean for your marketing plan, specifically?"

    Client: "...................huh?"

    Izuno: "Well, what do you mean by 'pick up on market synergies to maximize brand potential'?"

    Client: ".......uh....you know, we want to...leverage synergies between our brand value and current market trends."

    Izuno: "What brand values specifically are you talking about?"

    Client: "..................well, gamers will resonate with our core brand focus."

    Izuno: "Ok, so what is your 'brand focus'?"

    Client (excited): "We deliver a visceral cinematic combat experiece of an elite team in intense online battles."

    Izuno: "...........Ok. So if that is the your 'brand focus' what do you intend to do with it?"

    Client: "Well we think it will synergize with the market, and um..."

    Izuno: "No, see, that's the problem. You need to be specific. You need to know what your game is about. Don't think about 'brands' and 'synergies.' This is a new game not based on a license. You have no brand. You need to think about how your game is original and delivers a fun gameplay experience. What's fun about your game?"

    Client: (scoffing) "Who cares? This about building a brand!"

    Izuno: "...................................................................Ok let me think about this and get back to you."

  • Defrag
    • September 8, 2007 at 9:41 PM
    • #73

    I think the correct response would've been shouting "BULLSHIT!" then slamming down the phone

  • Psy
    • September 8, 2007 at 11:02 PM
    • #74

    Moar! I want more stories of idiots talking bullshit.

  • Mazy
    • September 8, 2007 at 11:36 PM
    • #75
    Quote from Izuno

    let me give you a run down of a conversation I had with potential client once. This isn't word for word but it's pretty damn close:Client: "What we really want to do is pick up on market synergies to maximzie brand potential."

    Izuno: "Ok. So what does that mean for your marketing plan, specifically?"

    Client: "...................huh?"

    Izuno: "Well, what do you mean by 'pick up on market synergies to maximize brand potential'?"

    Client: ".......uh....you know, we want to...leverage synergies between our brand value and current market trends."

    Izuno: "What brand values specifically are you talking about?"

    Client: "..................well, gamers will resonate with our core brand focus."

    Izuno: "Ok, so what is your 'brand focus'?"

    Client (excited): "We deliver a visceral cinematic combat experiece of an elite team in intense online battles."

    Izuno: "...........Ok. So if that is the your 'brand focus' what do you intend to do with it?"

    Client: "Well we think it will synergize with the market, and um..."

    Izuno: "No, see, that's the problem. You need to be specific. You need to know what your game is about. Don't think about 'brands' and 'synergies.' This is a new game not based on a license. You have no brand. You need to think about how your game is original and delivers a fun gameplay experience. What's fun about your game?"

    Client: (scoffing) "Who cares? This about building a brand!"

    Izuno: "...................................................................Ok let me think about this and get back to you."

    Display More

    THATS GOLD!

  • FrieChamp
    • September 9, 2007 at 4:13 AM
    • #76

    I'm listening guys, this is exactly the kind of fluff talk I need to learn

  • zaphod
    • September 9, 2007 at 5:54 AM
    • #77

    lol I was just about to post I hope frie isn't going to school so he can sound like one of those guys

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