What's going on with your life?

    I would love to help you @Tisky, but I honestly can't think of any advice that hasn't already been given to you. Plus, I'm incapable of looking it from your perspective because my mind doesn't work that way. Whenever I had heartache, like the time my ex left me for one of my best friends 4 months after we bought a house together, I reacted completely different. Even though I lived together for 5 years with her, my way of processing things was to erase her existence. I changed my email, phone number and what not, completely ignored her and really send everything I had of her, including the most expensive gifts, back. It drove her crazy and made her try to stalk me, but I didn't care. Even years later, she send me a letter, personally delivered through a mutual friend, which I immediately threw away without reading. Something I never regretted.

    It's not that I didn't want to talk to her, or that I didn't miss her or wished she would come back. No, it's because she was a lying sneaky slut that stabbed me in the back and I deserve better than that. It's because I love myself more and most of all, it's because I'm stone-cold unforgiving vindictive motherfucker that doesn't take shit from nobody. You can bet your ass I gorilla fucked every girl I could and partied like my life depended on it. And you know what? That pain slowly goes away. You'll think less and less about her and eventually it's just another burned bridge, with a distant memory of the smell of smoke and the assumption that once your eyes watered.

    Quote from Tisky

    23 hours ago, Tisky said: Ok. Erase, no rewind and play. Got it.

    You know the best part? She stabbed him in the back too. Ran off with another guy leaving him with a lot of debt and without his child. It sucks for the kid, but man, karma is a bitch and he got what was coming to him. If you stop falling into those pussy traps and learn to play the long game, you will eventually have the last laugh. His life is shit. Her life shit and my life is great in comparison :)

    Thanks for sharing your story Sprony! Im glad you found someone good and got kids with!

    My ex told me she was dating someone, she did not want to let go but at the same time id not want to be with. I told her to please fucking explain how she is thinking because that is probably how the girl i love is thinking. She had no real explanation so i guess some people are like this. Eat the cake and keep the cake. I've been trying to understand why she does some things, because i know they are aimed at me. I don't think she's trying to be nice because she feels bad for me Radu. I think she cannot make up her fucking mind and don't want me to let go. I can promise you this. Once i let go, and find someone else. She will come running!

    I should try and see the possibilities of switching my phone number (or just block her number), block her on FB and Insta. Delete my snapchat. Vanish. I think i gotta do as Sprony did, erase. I just got to get the courage and balls to do it. I am angry sometimes, but then i miss her, then i am angry. I'm such a little pussy that can't let go of someone i know deep inside wants to be with me. As someone said in my locked thread, women with kids wants security first and a good life for them. I could never give her a better life than she has with her current man, atleast not today. Maybe when i am 40 and got rid of the dept from the house i owned with my ex.

    I think i need a break from everything, work and shit. Stress. Last months my short-term memory is so bad and i've been dizzy and not really been feeling good with all the anxiety. I'm not as tough as i used to be or i am getting old.

    Well she's clearly confused too otherwise she wouldn't let go of you. If you two keep getting drawn to each other it won't help to shut it off, one day the feelings will inevitably erupt and maybe not in a good way. Could it be that you are overthinking the situation, reading too much into it, trying to control it too much? If there's one trait that women appreciate in men is confidence, and judging from your last posts you might be coming across as the complete opposite: clingy, insecure and unstable. Being confident is not something that you just decide to do overnight, it's a change of attitude that emerges out of knowing yourself well, after doing a lot of "soul searching", internal work that brings unconscious patterns to awareness. it takes a lot of time! Also pay attention to what frequency you set your mind. If you are constantly angry and anxious, that's the kind of situation that you will attract.

    Who the fuck am I to give advice to anyone, and I even joked about not following anyone's advices, but if I was in your place I'd take the long game in this situation. Resume your life, keep healthy habits, READ a shit ton, look for any information that might shed light into this situation and the most important thing you can learn is to love yourself first. You are never going to have a happy relationship if your happiness depends on others. The Buddah said that the root of all suffering is attachment. This is my opinion of course, but everything happens the way they had to. If this is happening to you now, take it as an opportunity to get stronger, evolve and get rid of the traits that don't serve you anymore! In a few years you will look back at this time in your life and realize how much you grew from all these experiences, and even if you are not together with this girl, you will feel thankful for all the positive changes she caused in you.

    Here's a good place with tons of really good information, you just have to search a bit: https://www.psychologytoday.com/

    Here's something that might help you understand some of her behaviors, and yours too: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassio…ur-relationship

    If nothing else helps, psychotherapy could help!

    Look @Tisky, I appreciate that you are grateful I shared my story, but please realize that just because it worked for me, that doesn't mean it works for you. I shared the story to highlight how I'm not able to place myself in your position and not to convince you this is the best approach. I think @Minos gave you some excellent pointers. Information that's helpful to all, regardless of their situation. But looking at your posting history and at what you're saying, maybe it's time to look for some professional help. It seems you are losing grip and there might be other factors at play and you are just projecting a lot of that on her. There's no shame in asking for help and as to being tough, that's just something that men are conditioned into by society. Don't fall for that. Real men will try anything to resolve whatever it is that needs fixing.

    This has been going around in circles for ages now and is starting to feel like Groundhog Day. I think it's time to go see a professional.

    Quote from Sprony

    7 hours ago, Sprony said: Look @Tisky, I appreciate that you are grateful I shared my story, but please realize that just because it worked for me, that doesn't mean it works for you. I shared the story to highlight how I'm not able to place myself in your position and not to convince you this is the best approach. I think @Minos gave you some excellent pointers. Information that's helpful to all, regardless of their situation. But looking at your posting history and at what you're saying, maybe it's time to look for some professional help. It seems you are losing grip and there might be other factors at play and you are just projecting a lot of that on her. There's no shame in asking for help and as to being tough, that's just something that men are conditioned into by society. Don't fall for that. Real men will try anything to resolve whatever it is that needs fixing.

    Sometimes you just don't know how to resolve things.


    Quote from dux

    5 hours ago, dux said: This has been going around in circles for ages now and is starting to feel like Groundhog Day. I think it's time to go see a professional.

    Don't worry, i won't come back again.

    Why are you being passive aggressive? We've all tried to help and give you the advice we can but at the end of the day this is a game forum. I think it's clear to anyone who has read what has been posted that a visit to a professional would be a wise idea

    Quote from Tisky

    16 hours ago, Tisky said: Sometimes you just don't know how to resolve things.

    Don't worry, i won't come back again.

    Yeah man, the situation is not getting any better after all this time, it's time for professional help...

    Everyone should try psychotherapy at least once in their lives. You'd be surprised at all the pattern behaviors we have no idea we have that hold us back :)

    @Tisky i haven't read all your posts so I dunno if you tried already but… have you openly confronted her about these things that keep you hanging?

    After all this time I would be in so much pain that I would really want to get her on the record.

    If you tried then you got some real good advice in previous posts and I'd give it a go.

    Think I may be cursed to forever have to put up with monitors dying on me as now my backup work monitor's display has broken, to be fair it was a very old one but still.

    Pulling another old TV out of another room and hoping to god this one lasts out long enough for me to buy the replacement. And unlike this time get a replacement I won't have to return!

    Quote from Bastion

    3 hours ago, Bastion said: Think I may be cursed to forever have to put up with monitors dying on me as now my backup work monitor's display has broken, to be fair it was a very old one but still.

    Pulling another old TV out of another room and hoping to god this one lasts out long enough for me to buy the replacement. And unlike this time get a replacement I won't have to return!

    Maybe buy some extra insurance with it as well since these things seem to drop like flies with you ;)

    Quote from Sprony

    Just now, Sprony said: Maybe buy some extra insurance with it as well since these things seem to drop like flies with you ;)

    I have a feeling that the day I get a gamedev job, the moment I sit down at my new desk the entire setup will just explode.

    Quote from Bastion

    Just now, Bastion said: I have a feeling that the day I get a gamedev job, the moment I sit down at my new desk the entire setup will just explode.

    Well I do know that if you ever visit me, you are staying the fuck away from my tv's and monitors ;)

    Quote from Sprony

    Just now, Sprony said: Well I do know that if you ever visit me, you are staying the fuck away from my tv's and monitors ;)

    Let's hope that me knocking on your door doesn't cause it to fly off it's hinges first.

    Quote from Bastion

    6 minutes ago, Bastion said: Let's hope that me knocking on your door doesn't cause it to fly off it's hinges first.

    Something like this I suppose :)

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    I'd be happy to donate you my old Samsung display that is collecting dust back in Italy @Bastion, but guess wouldn't be cheap mailing it.

    Where do you live? Check Shpock/eBay for something cheap, a proper monitor is better than a tv

    Quote from blackdog

    4 hours ago, blackdog said: I'd be happy to donate you my old Samsung display that is collecting dust back in Italy @Bastion, but guess wouldn't be cheap mailing it.

    Where do you live? Check Shpock/eBay for something cheap, a proper monitor is better than a tv

    Ordered myself a new monitor last night fortunately, will be able to use something that is actually 1080p again!

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