Well your pride shouldn't be hurt i'd say, you managed to push yourself out of your nature and that's definetely not an easy thing for anyone. I can assure you of that 
!
That is really good there's no bitterness, it will still makes a good friend indeed, and who knows. But i'd say be careful to not allow your desire for her to haunt your heart when you will find another girl to love ! But hah, it's your call and it's another story
Wrote my first article for indieretronews.com
http://www.indieretronews.com/2014/05/consol…-find-long.html
It's my last day at CA today! Very weird feeling, I hate leaving a company when you've spen't so long working alongside other people. Looking forward to starting at Sony though!
It's okay. You'll miss us.
They won't miss you liam...
That is what Mark is saying.
Oh they will miss me! I dunno if I'll miss the project though 
We already managed to get him to leave UWE, this is usual behaviour for him. Loves to whore himself out 
No more commutes, this must sounds like heaven.
Quote from KoKo5oVaRNo more commutes, this must sounds like heaven.
Definitely man. That hour commute every day is a right bastard. Looking forward to cutting it down to 20-25 mins!
Quote from blackdogDisplay MoreThank you guys!
I haven't been my friend, I wrote "slammed" as to mean that I got rejected bluntly after what seemed could be a perfect relationship.
This is not sentimentally painful... it bites because picture this: this girl started working here just a few weeks ago and we immediately had an incredible relationship from the first day. Probably because I was just being friendly while she fancied me right away, I'm not good at all at these things.
A week later I had already met her parents and had some food at their place and she invited me camping.
Last week I cooked for her and we chatted till late. Evening after she invited me for drinks and everything was going incredibly smoothly, we even had the full moon lighting the way while walking hand in hand: I was going to kiss her right there and then, but she started talking about some concerns on having a relationship while working and living in the same place. As we entered the field centre I understood she wanted me to kiss her. But I was already set to do that in front of her door: i thought it was squallid to kiss her in the kitchen, but no kiss in the corridor because of her paranoias about getting caught. We texted right after and she came out saying she could't believe i didn't kiss her in the kitchen, and that created some effing huge expectations so when we got together the following night we kissed but the whole situation felt forced.
We've kept tapping each other these days, waiting for the right moment and last night coming back from the pub we kissed outside. It was better than the other day but still mediocre, so she said she's sorry, she wanted to give us another try but this is not working. Plus the rest of the usual bullcrap: co-workers paranoia, came here with a project, coming out from a 5 years relationship or something.
So lesson learned: girls talk is bullshit, they appreciate the romantic touch just as little and they can be selfish as much as they like to accuse us to be. Always follow when a girl appears ready.
I thought it was slang for smacked/slapped
Well, better for you I suppose. Although the rest of the story is a bit sad. Not to be offensive, but there were so many clues you didn't pick up on (based on your story alone) that you should have seen this coming a mile a way. Not your fault though, I used to be same. You should visit http://www.doubleyourdating.com and read his book Double your Dating. It's like a bible to understanding women and no, I'm not getting any commissions. Shit works and nothing ever backfired. Try it.
As for what is going on in my life right now: I had some mold in the bathroom and it kept coming back so I bought the strongest product out there. It's white as snow now. But even with all the protection (mouth cap, glasses, gloves) I'm high as a motherfucker. Cannot be healthy but it's actually kinda fun
Holy SHIT, after years of drinking copious amounts of caffeine I decided to give it up last night because I was noticing my heart racing during the day and especially during the evenings, and it was worrying the shit out of me. So I've had nothing today, and seriously since about 8pm I've gone from feeling like shit to feeling like ten piles of shit.
I've got headaches, muscle aches, eye tension, and I feel generally lifeless. It's kind of insane how dependent on that shit I've been, I hope this passes quickly. I'm also a bit worried after reading someone saying that life isn't the same without caffeine, they don't feel as energised or as alive even months later. What the fuck man. 
I've stopped coffee and cigarette 6 months ago, it's still going fine ! But like you Thrik i had my heart racing (or more like pounding in a pressuring way) in the morning or when i was exhausted. I went to check my blood pressure, it happens to be a bit high.
I was freaking out it could have been something with my heart, so i checked a cardiologist but that happened to be just stress, probably because i stopped smoking from one day to the other and maybe a general addition of annoyances at the same time.
So to say i replaced coffee with chicory, it's not as good at first but about some days i found it taste almost the same. Makes a good substitute
Quote from ThrikHoly SHIT, after years of drinking copious amounts of caffeine I decided to give it up last night because I was noticing my heart racing during the day and especially during the evenings, and it was worrying the shit out of me. So I've had nothing today, and seriously since about 8pm I've gone from feeling like shit to feeling like ten piles of shit.
I've got headaches, muscle aches, eye tension, and I feel generally lifeless. It's kind of insane how dependent on that shit I've been, I hope this passes quickly. I'm also a bit worried after reading someone saying that life isn't the same without caffeine, they don't feel as energised or as alive even months later. What the fuck man.
Don't forget, coffee (caffeine rather) is a drug by itself that causes addiction and withdrawal symptoms... in fact it's much more harmful to the body than some illegal drugs
I fucking love coffee, my newest habbit is drinking it with jack daniels and irish cream sunday mornings, it always helps to start the day with a kick. I quit cigarette smoking several months ago as I said before, but at the same time I don't want to deprive myself completely from its pleasures so I still smoke occasionally when I have alcohol with friends. It's a perfect pair. I also usually have one cigarette sunday mornings with my "irish" coffee, and that's it, even when I get a rare craving during the week I control myself and go do something else.
Life is too short and if we try to be 100% healthy we become paranoid morons who don't appreciate the lil things anymore. All you need is self control, you don't need to completely eliminate things that make you feel good (unless they fuck you up like crack or something lol, don't do that).
Ex-smokers (myself included) usually have that illusion that if they have one eventual cigarette they will start smoking 2 packs a day again, but the truth is, we are in control a 100% of the time, no one will put cigarettes in your mouth and lit them up for you
Well what works the best for me to not be smoking is to not have any tobacco at home. I just remind me how expensive it is, and how far the shop is.
I completely agree with you mino about being an hedonist drunkard with baileys and a smoke on a sunday morning. But at least for me 100% control if pretty much an illusion, i know what the kokos of today is thinking, but i don't know about the kokos of tomorrow 
! There's moments of stress i would totally jump and smoke 30 rolled cigarettes a day like before if i had some at hand.
I mean just writing about it, my leg is shaking and i would totally smoke one slowly to remember how it is. Terrible shit 
out of sight out of mind as the quote says
I've moved into my new house, the commute times are even longer than before but I found a train station not too far from my place so I rely on my car for only a little bit each day, which is better. I'm always stressed on relying on an old cheap car for my daily commute because I just never know when it's going to break down and prevent me from going to work.
I booked a 1-year parental leave because that's a thing in Germany, looking forward to that, as my wife got pregnant just as my last crunch was finishing and I feel like I never had a chance to recover due to her moods and my child and commute and exhausting holidays back to France to see family.
There's quite a few things to do around the house to make it good, and the incoming birth of my second child puts a lot of pressure on getting at least the kitchen, living room and one bedroom done as soon as possible to greet the baby in a clean/safe environment, so I'm rushing through those tasks as fast as I can. Had to put my indie project aside for a few weeks because of that, I hope to get back to it for good during my parental leave. Also the train I take in the morning and evenings now is long but nice and has electrical plugs in it so I'll probably be able to use my commute time to do some coding, so that's a positive thing I guess. I find being in charge of my own project creatively reminds me why I wanted to make games in the first place. After 10 years of modding, going back to an independent project feels just right, even with the limited time and energy I have to pour into it.
Not sure yet if buying a house right now (that house in particular) is a good thing or just not a bad one. I don't expect to stay in it for too many years because of its distance to some of the schools we want to put our children in, as I don't want to spend hundreds of euros a month in gas for driving them to and from school. Hopefully I can sell it back quickly and for a added value after I repaired the shit out of it, but I'm avoiding major structural changes to it because the prices can go up real fast if you have to call on a professional to do it.
Only the future will tell, at least I'll have learned a lot of very valuable lessons I'll be able to apply to my next purchase and renovations. I'm still always surprised how life can go so fast and so slow at the same time, especially after having kids. I sometimes, for instance after reading Furyo's interview, regret having had a kid so early and thus not being flexible and free to move/travel to seek better opportunities, not being able to save up money, etc. It doesn't really help to think like that, but when I see other people moving around the world and having fun joining cool projects and companies, able to have hobbies that are time-consuming and expensive, or able to do side projects properly while having a full-time job, I can't help but question my past actions that led me to this situation. Not sure I was made to be a family guy, I just happened to fall into it and now I feel a bit trapped. That'll pass I guess.
That's me!
we work a lot (especially right now), so getting parental leave will be really good for you and the family i think i think the whole feeling trapped thing might be the pressure coming from too many sides at once. with some added time off during the parental leave year i could imagine things will look a lot brighter!
also looking forward to see what your indie game will look like in a year from now
Quote from MinosDon't forget, coffee (caffeine rather) is a drug by itself that causes addiction and withdrawal symptoms... in fact it's much more harmful to the body than some illegal drugs
I fucking love coffee, my newest habbit is drinking it with jack daniels and irish cream sunday mornings, it always helps to start the day with a kick.
What if you start to crave for that kick during the week, too? And during coffee breaks at work? Not really a serious question, I just love the idea of you being buzzed at work every day, sluring your words and falling a sleep in meetings, but nobody wants to fire you, because you create the most amazing art while being drunk
Quote from CorwinDisplay MoreI've moved into my new house, the commute times are even longer than before but I found a train station not too far from my place so I rely on my car for only a little bit each day, which is better. I'm always stressed on relying on an old cheap car for my daily commute because I just never know when it's going to break down and prevent me from going to work.
I booked a 1-year parental leave because that's a thing in Germany, looking forward to that, as my wife got pregnant just as my last crunch was finishing and I feel like I never had a chance to recover due to her moods and my child and commute and exhausting holidays back to France to see family.
There's quite a few things to do around the house to make it good, and the incoming birth of my second child puts a lot of pressure on getting at least the kitchen, living room and one bedroom done as soon as possible to greet the baby in a clean/safe environment, so I'm rushing through those tasks as fast as I can. Had to put my indie project aside for a few weeks because of that, I hope to get back to it for good during my parental leave. Also the train I take in the morning and evenings now is long but nice and has electrical plugs in it so I'll probably be able to use my commute time to do some coding, so that's a positive thing I guess. I find being in charge of my own project creatively reminds me why I wanted to make games in the first place. After 10 years of modding, going back to an independent project feels just right, even with the limited time and energy I have to pour into it.
Not sure yet if buying a house right now (that house in particular) is a good thing or just not a bad one. I don't expect to stay in it for too many years because of its distance to some of the schools we want to put our children in, as I don't want to spend hundreds of euros a month in gas for driving them to and from school. Hopefully I can sell it back quickly and for a added value after I repaired the shit out of it, but I'm avoiding major structural changes to it because the prices can go up real fast if you have to call on a professional to do it.
Only the future will tell, at least I'll have learned a lot of very valuable lessons I'll be able to apply to my next purchase and renovations. I'm still always surprised how life can go so fast and so slow at the same time, especially after having kids. I sometimes, for instance after reading Furyo's interview, regret having had a kid so early and thus not being flexible and free to move/travel to seek better opportunities, not being able to save up money, etc. It doesn't really help to think like that, but when I see other people moving around the world and having fun joining cool projects and companies, able to have hobbies that are time-consuming and expensive, or able to do side projects properly while having a full-time job, I can't help but question my past actions that led me to this situation. Not sure I was made to be a family guy, I just happened to fall into it and now I feel a bit trapped. That'll pass I guess.
That's me!
I think it's normal to feel that way. I wouldn't worry too much about it. In fact, I would try to forget it as soon as possible. There's a whole lot coming at you right now with no easy way out. It's only logical to feel trapped. The crunch, pregnant wife, renovating, work, etc. It's all riding on you mate. With that comes the realization that you're getting older, have more responsibilities now and that certain ships have simply sailed. That stings and makes you doubt your past decisions. Don't go there!
I know the feeling all to well. Best example, given your current situation, is that I'm a bit jealous (which I never am) that my friends are all having a blast, connecting more and more to one another, and I'm stuck saving money for the baby, supporting my wife, taking care of everything, busy job, etc. That too brings doubt about it being the right decision and stuff. But again, don't go there dude. Never compare yourselves to others and look at it from their perspective. When I confessed to my friends I was feeling a bit jealous they said they were jealous of me. One of them has been single a long time and would kill to have a family. The other wishes he had his own home and yet another would do anything to move up through the company like I did. It all depends on your point of view. As soon as you get your leave, you'll have a breather and start to feel better, trust me.
For anyone else, besides the example above, that feel the need to look at the past, I'll leave you with this:
[Blocked Image: http://inspirationboost.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Move-on-Quotes-Tupac-Shakur.jpg]
This day is will be remembered by me for a long time ! It was my last day at school as a teacher !!! Sunday is my trip to Warsaw, visit my family there, and monday is my first day at CDP RED super fucking happy !
Quote from FrieChamp
Don't forget, coffee (caffeine rather) is a drug by itself that causes addiction and withdrawal symptoms... in fact it's much more harmful to the body than some illegal drugs
I fucking love coffee, my newest habbit is drinking it with jack daniels and irish cream sunday mornings, it always helps to start the day with a kick.
What if you start to crave for that kick during the week, too? And during coffee breaks at work? Not really a serious question, I just love the idea of you being buzzed at work every day, sluring your words and falling a sleep in meetings, but nobody wants to fire you, because you create the most amazing art while being drunk
haha it's just a shot really. But yeah, if you have problems with alcohol (which is not my case) it could become a bad habit pretty quickly.
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