[HL²DM] dm_erayo

[Fяэ&a]

Hi guys,

here are some pics of my latest work, dm_factory. i hope you like the stuff

I like this map much more than fragyard, but i think its not sooo very good...

[Psy]

That's hilarious. You have light sources yet you place the actual light several units away.

[curman]

That's hilarious you've guys yet to learn to atleast show the slighest amount of respect for a beginner's work.

But, anyway, as for your map it seems very dull. You have a good idea of architecture & using props. But that'll only get you so far, personally the map to me just appears to be a mesh of hallways. There isn't much that shows this being a "factory" of sorts.

This is a screenshot from Forsaken mod:

To me, this is a very typical industrial factory. Has grime, dark colors. Lots of metal & brick. And it's more than just a hallway.

Personally, I'd work more on a full layout, have some industrial machines, generators, water pumps, something.

[SnipaMasta]

Shot-By-Shot crits.

(I just realised I missed one out - but on the second to last replace that slope with steps.)

I've shown some specific points - but what it boils down to is that the rooms are empty and just filled with random props to try and fill it out. Avoid doing that. Make the rooms have a purpose - I don't know where on earth they actually make things in this factory.

The main thing you should do is study reference pictures of real factories. Because your map doesn't look like one at all.

[Fяэ&a]

There isn't much that shows this being a "factory" of sorts.

Yes, but this isn´t really a factory, it´s more a big hall that´s the middle of some meeting ways. Factory was the only name i liked for that map

But i´m going to work on it, thx.

[GregBoffins]

That's hilarious you've guys yet to learn to atleast show the slighest amount of respect for a beginner's work.

That's what makes me so fucking bitter all the time, just ask Evert.

I think for a begginer it's some good shit going on there, just a bit more practice in making something that serves a purpose and your stuff will get better over time.

Just don't give up!

[RA7]

I say its a solid start, but i agree its a bit dull.

[Nexus]

comeone guys, don't you see he is here to show his map

wtf! dM-factory was made by me u stole my map name now u done a thing you didnt know but u did and u did and..

remove dat name.

ok here is my map :

http://www.lanmaniax.com/maps/html/hl2dm_factory.htm

remove dat name.

[Fяэ&a]

wtf! dM-factory was made by me u stole my map name now u done a thing you didnt know but u did and u did and..

remove dat name..

SRY guy but, i removed it yet -.-

[Nexus]

wtf! dM-factory was made by me u stole my map name now u done a thing you didnt know but u did and u did and..

remove dat name..

SRY guy but, i removed it yet -.-

yea.. it's better now.

[Fяэ&a]

OMG i recognized that i´ve forgotten one picture

Here it is:

And i improved the room on the 1. pic a bit:

Think it looks better now

[Defrag]

Getting better.

Mix in some coloured lighting. Right now everything is very pale and even. A simple and effective way to add some spice to the lighting is to have a cool & large/powerful light source (such as overhead fluorescent tubes) and then accent it with incandescent lighting such as orange-ish bulbs etc. Check out the picture curman posted and also look at the SDK maps to get some lighting ideas.

It's easy to go overboard with coloured lighting so be wary of getting carried away

[SnipaMasta]

comeone guys, don't you see he is here to show his map

wtf! dM-factory was made by me u stole my map name now u done a thing you didnt know but u did and u did and..

remove dat name.

ok here is my map :

http://www.lanmaniax.com/maps/html/hl2dm_factory.htm

remove dat name.

It's such an original name! He was clearly stealing it from you, right?

[robert.briscoe]

comeone guys, don't you see he is here to show his map

wtf! dM-factory was made by me u stole my map name now u done a thing you didnt know but u did and u did and..

remove dat name.

ok here is my map :

http://www.lanmaniax.com/maps/html/hl2dm_factory.htm

remove dat name.

Jesus, I hope english isnt your first language.

[Fяэ&a]

Ok, i´m going to add some coloured lights thx