Time to move on..

[zaphod]

stop stealing my business

[mikezilla]

It's a competitive industry.

[Izuno]

sorry but "synergy" was phased out years ago.

[Taylor]

I want you to propose a "visceral analysis."

[mjens]

[narby]

friedrich is a bi

[PS_Mouse]

sorry but "synergy" was phased out years ago.

Thank christ; I've never been fond of that word.

[KungFuSquirrel]

It's ok, it'll take a few more years for everyone to catch up.

BTW, on a similar note, if your workplace in the video game industry ever uses the words "action" and "item" together in one sentence that doesn't involve the in-game inventory, it's probably time to run.

[Defrag]

That's my pet motherfuckin' hate. Which middle-management dickhead decided that action is a verb?

Here's something that cracked me up:

[Furyo]

That reminds me so much of my former career

[Wunderboy]

Ugggh. And mine. Swedish marketing types speaking Swenglish peppered with bullshit words.

"We're number 1 at establishing near-shore beachheads!"

Doesn't that mean you're shit? I thought the whole point of a beachhead was to capture and secure a large area away from the shore? So what, you can barely get out of the boats or something?

"Lets do some blue sky thinking"

Yeah, I'm thinking I wish I was lying on a beach somewhere thinking about blue skies not sat in this bloody meeting.

Fscking tools...

[Izuno]

let me give you a run down of a conversation I had with potential client once. This isn't word for word but it's pretty damn close:

Client: "What we really want to do is pick up on market synergies to maximzie brand potential."

Izuno: "Ok. So what does that mean for your marketing plan, specifically?"

Client: "...................huh?"

Izuno: "Well, what do you mean by 'pick up on market synergies to maximize brand potential'?"

Client: ".......uh....you know, we want to...leverage synergies between our brand value and current market trends."

Izuno: "What brand values specifically are you talking about?"

Client: "..................well, gamers will resonate with our core brand focus."

Izuno: "Ok, so what is your 'brand focus'?"

Client (excited): "We deliver a visceral cinematic combat experiece of an elite team in intense online battles."

Izuno: "...........Ok. So if that is the your 'brand focus' what do you intend to do with it?"

Client: "Well we think it will synergize with the market, and um..."

Izuno: "No, see, that's the problem. You need to be specific. You need to know what your game is about. Don't think about 'brands' and 'synergies.' This is a new game not based on a license. You have no brand. You need to think about how your game is original and delivers a fun gameplay experience. What's fun about your game?"

Client: (scoffing) "Who cares? This about building a brand!"

Izuno: "...................................................................Ok let me think about this and get back to you."

[Defrag]

I think the correct response would've been shouting "BULLSHIT!" then slamming down the phone

[Psy]

Moar! I want more stories of idiots talking bullshit.

[Mazy]

let me give you a run down of a conversation I had with potential client once. This isn't word for word but it's pretty damn close:

Client: "What we really want to do is pick up on market synergies to maximzie brand potential."

Izuno: "Ok. So what does that mean for your marketing plan, specifically?"

Client: "...................huh?"

Izuno: "Well, what do you mean by 'pick up on market synergies to maximize brand potential'?"

Client: ".......uh....you know, we want to...leverage synergies between our brand value and current market trends."

Izuno: "What brand values specifically are you talking about?"

Client: "..................well, gamers will resonate with our core brand focus."

Izuno: "Ok, so what is your 'brand focus'?"

Client (excited): "We deliver a visceral cinematic combat experiece of an elite team in intense online battles."

Izuno: "...........Ok. So if that is the your 'brand focus' what do you intend to do with it?"

Client: "Well we think it will synergize with the market, and um..."

Izuno: "No, see, that's the problem. You need to be specific. You need to know what your game is about. Don't think about 'brands' and 'synergies.' This is a new game not based on a license. You have no brand. You need to think about how your game is original and delivers a fun gameplay experience. What's fun about your game?"

Client: (scoffing) "Who cares? This about building a brand!"

Izuno: "...................................................................Ok let me think about this and get back to you."

THATS GOLD!