How are you doing?

[e-freak]

mary her

[Minos]

someday

[dux]

What is it you actually do then, same as all the other Brazillians - cannabis?

[Nexus]

this thread is useful.

[mjens]

My life is now fucked up... I was (I am... :/) in love with a girl who want to come back to his boyfriend, I can't find a job, I hate my univer., I don't have time to make maps, models and nobody likes me I only have my one love - Canon EOS 400D and this:

Luv that bike...

[hessi]

why don't you polish your portfolio and find a job elsewhere? if you are not happy with university, then i don't think it is good for you to waste the time there. a bad degree wont help you later. better get a good one or spend them time elsewhere!

keep in mind that a degree is something you do for your life, so it might be hard from time to time. later you can pretty much do what ever you want to.

my advice: shit on the girl, focus on university. throw your self into work and get something out of you. when you are 30 years old, got a nice job, a nice apartment, money, a car you will surely find lots of girls. there like 3 Mrd. around the world, so one might fit to you

cheers!

[mjens]

Hope you are right It is very hard to find a job... As one rapper said "I won't work at fast-food, I got some talent..." but ther is no other good work...

My plan:

- make a project to school, lern a lot - it's only 2 years to end :>

- make maps (now I'm makink a HL2, Q4, Painkiller maps and I'm looking forward to map in Uneral Engine 3), finish all 3d models...

Thanks for comment hessi. Here, take a donut made by me :

[ReNo]

Well if I'd have posted when I intended a few days back then my story would have had a slightly happier spin on it, but life in general is pretty good just now. The downside is that my girlfriend just split up with me at the weekend, which sucks as I really liked her. Things weren't exactly ideal there, as we live in different cities and work 9-5 jobs, meaning we saw each other precisely bugger all, so I can't really blame her. Thankfully it was fairly early on - we'd been seeing each other for just over a month - so although it's disappointing at least it isn't heartbreaking as it might have been further down the line. I'm sad mostly because we were good friends beforehand, and as much as I'd love to go back to the way we were, it isn't gonna be the same. At least not for a long while.

In happier news, I'm still working at Outerlight - have been a year and a half now - and I really like it here. We've recently started a new project, and as I joined near the end of development on The Ship it's nice to get involved in a project from the beginning. Since the company is so small everyone on the team gets to have a lot of creative input, and I tend to take advantage of that by shoving my opinions and suggestions in wherever I can, asked for or otherwise

I had been commuting to our office from my parents house in a nearby town, but a couple of weeks ago I moved into a flat in Edinburgh with 4 mates. It isn't the nicest flat in the world as some of them are students and couldn't afford much else, but it is ideally located in the city centre and it's good to be living away from my folks again. Living with non 9-5 workers is certainly having it's downsides already though, particularly at 4am on Sunday mornings and the like, but I suppose now I'm single again it might have its advantages too

I think I need to start doing more activities, as at the moment my spare time is fairly repetitively spent between games, movies, and, errr, drinking with mates. I'm quite into my ice skating, and my new flat is in walking distance to the ice rink, so I should definately start going there more often. I'm also considering trying out ice hockey, but I'm not exactly built for that sort of sport! I love snowboarding but I only tend to get away once a year, so I should really find something else I can do more regularly. I already miss the poker nights I had with my mates back home before I moved - gonna have to try and build a new crew here in the city!

So that's that Interesting thread by the way, nice to read more about you all.

[Grin]

Well, I guess I'll have to start of what happened 2.. no, almost 3 years ago.. Has it really been that long?

To my complete surprise my girlfriend left me a week after my 18th birthday, for some guy I had never met before. That was pretty much enough to send me to the bottom of a bottle for the rest of the year. I don't think there was a single dry weekend for me between first of april to first of december. I spent all my time working, coming home from work and starting to booze up, usually till I passed out. I finally started to get a grip of my life in the early fall when I went back to school. Sadly I had told some very nice girls to fuck off before this, and I haven't had a real relationship since.

Well, I'm still pretty bitter about it, and have lost my respect for girls, especially when similiar things have happened to my friends since. It's sad but it's true.

I finished gymnasium with pretty decent marks and applied to Tampere Polytechnic University to become a bachelor of arts and media, and started my studies here three weeks ago, but before that I had to serve my time in the finnish military for nine months, a period of my life I regard as the most unnecessary one ever.

But now I'm here. I absolutely love my school and the people in here, and I think it's the only solid thing in my life right now. I'm living in Hervanta, a suburb in Tampere with an old friend of mine and another friend of his, but I don't really feel home here living with them and I'm thinking of moving again to an apartment of my own. I just wouldn't want to fuck my mates up like that, because they need me to pay part of the rent.

My father is still hoping a professional athlete of me, a vision I too had 8 years ago. It's been a very dear idea for him since and I really don't have the heart to tell him I'm not interested in it anymore.

My grandmother is dying of old age, she has severe dementia, and can't recognize us very well anymore, sometimes he thinks it's the 60's, 70's and so on.

I'm still battling alcoholism. I'm not self destructive anymore, but I definately drink too often. I'm also starting to gain some weight, and I have very dry and weak skin which causes a lot of problems to me.

I'm currently trying to learn the guitar, and I miss my dog.

Edit: And I still seriously play CS. I've been playing since 1999, in clans since 2001. I love the game, I hate pretty much everybody playing it. I've promised myself I will quit playing the game and start using linux or mac to ensure this if the scene doesn't heal up before january 2009, when I have played for 10 years.

[Section_Ei8ht]

My fourth year of college is starting up this Wednesday. I'd like to say its my last, but I'm on the five year program (might even stay a bit longer to get a second major). I'll be glad to be back in school because I'll actually get stuff done. Most of the classes are programming related and I'm really looking forward to the operating systems and software engineering classes (get to learn about multi-threaded programming, UML, and spend the semester converting a board game into a software product. I'll probably work on the GUI and throw some 3d in there.)

I'm really glad that this last summer is finally over. It was pretty rough, mostly because all my good friends graduated college and are off in some other place in the world working, making a family, making a life, and here I sit in a closed off room never feeling more alone. That and it's been about two years since my last relationship, and every decent girl around this dank little shit town is already taken. After about a month of a lonely and boring summer, I really started questioning my faith and my life, and I started drinking heavily. I'll admit, I went a bit emo on the inside (not outside, though).

In the last week though, things have really started to turn up. I've stopped drinking (when I'm alone, at least ) and I've actually been able to do a few things that are productive. Over labor day weekend I decided to learn ActionScript 3.0 (Flash CS3), so to help myself make the jump from AS2 to AS3, I made Pong in flash (it's funny. I'm trying to become a game programmer, yet I've never made Pong). I had a programming binge that went for about 7-8 hours and man, did I ever feel alive. I guess it's kind of nerdy to admit that one of the only times I truly feel alive is when I'm programming, but it's the truth. I actually was able to take a lot from making a complete game from start to finish, regardless of how small it is. I've never done that before, and now I want to keep going. It's a beautiful feeling; going from feeling like you're in the gutter to feeling like you're on top of the world.

I guess the biggest part of my problem over the summer was the fact that I just didn't want to grow up. I didn't want anything to change. I wanted to stay in college with the same group of friends forever because hanging out in the computer lab with people I could relate to was one of the greatest highs a guy like me could ever have, and when they all left to go their separate ways and live their own lives, I went into withdrawals. But over the past few weeks I've been able to get over that fact and realize that this is my life, things change, things will change, and there is nothing I can do to stop it. And the change can either be for the better, or for the worse, but no matter which it is, things always come around one way or another.

So here I am, back in a good position (even though I wasted most-of-if-not-all my summer being a drunken depressed emo [i'll admit it]). College starts up tomorrow, I'm back on my feet, and my faith is restored. Enough of me being emo. Never again! There is work to be done, a life to be lived, and games to make!

Edit [to comment on Grin's post that was posted while I was writing my post]: Grin, sounds like you have a pain I know all too well. My last relationship ended with her leaving me for some guy I never met, and her becoming a stripper and a crack whore. Got me drinking, too. Don't worry man. Things will shape up for you.

[D3ads]

D3ads, regarding you being attacked:

Take some self-defence classes or take up a martial art. It'll do you wonders. A lot of the classes feature people like you and me (a bit nerdish, not really fighting types, wouldn't know what to do if attacked). Think about it: Are you more or less likely to take up a martial art if you're already confident about defending yourself? I've been going to a local instructor for approaching four years now (he teaches hand to hand combat to the special forces amongst other stuff) and I know I can handle myself these days because I know various things for every angle of attack etc. I'll never be a hard bastard or a great martial artist, but I now have a good understanding of what I can and cannot do and plenty of stuff in my locker for both recognising & dealing with various situations, including someone with a weapon.

Also, if you find the right class and instructor, it will also do wonders for your self-esteem, get you fighting fit and teach you a lot about life in general. Just make sure you find a good instructor; avoid the cowboys (one touch of death!111 I will throw you with my Ki power!) & sport-based martial arts.

If I can do it, it's almost guaranteed that you can, too. I've been trying to get my brother to take it up too as he was almost assaulted a few months back but he's wary of the effort involved. Once you're in and training it's grand, you just have to have the confidence to take that first step. Personally, it was something I always wanted to do but never got around to. Once I started, I was so glad that I actually took the first step. Definitely one of the best decisions I ever made.

The reason I think this is a good route is that you can overcome your fears through confidence in your own abilities. When I started uni prior to starting training, I used to wonder if I was going to get mugged when wandering through the overpass to the train station late at night (almost happened once when two dickheads started asking me for money then started following me while abusing me). Nowadays I'm still careful to avoid trouble, but I'm much less worried about anything happening.

If you're ever interested or want any advice on choosing an instructor etc. just shoot me a pm sometime.

Thanks for the advice, it would help to have self-defence classes I'm not so sure about martial arts though as I'm not really that interested in it and it's a bit of a thing to have to learn that sorta stuff to defend yourself from fucking idiots who get their fun from beating people up. I think had I been sober that night I might have been a bit more assertive but I'd had a bit to drink and was feeling tired so I didn't fight back. I fucking hate people who invade my personal space, if someone gets up right close to me and grabs me or something I will not tolerate that and I'd be perfectly prepared to fight back as well as bite and/or scratch any fuckers that try to pin me down.. or even gouge their eyes out.. I have no sympahy for anyone who attacks me, leave me alone and I'll leave them alone I want no part in their so called entertainment of beating people up.

my advice: shit on the girl, focus on university. throw your self into work and get something out of you. when you are 30 years old, got a nice job, a nice apartment, money, a car you will surely find lots of girls. there like 3 Mrd. around the world, so one might fit to you

cheers!

Thing is Hessi, it doesn't work like that for everyone, some people are able to move on easy, others like myself find it very hard to look to other pastures. When you have feelings for someone, you want to be with them not anyone else, sure you can look for someone else and maybe get somewhere with them but if you go out with someone when your feelings lie with someone else then you'll be miserable because you want to be with the other person. It's all subjective but that's my 2$..

seir: I can relate to your dilemma, having been through a similar situation myself for the last year, I don't really know what to suggest other than try and spend more time with your friends (you must have some.. surely?!) or perhaps family? Take your mind off of it by pushing yourself to work a bit more, I'm not saying force yourself to map or anything.. just do a bit more towards your work and build it up step by step, it wont distract you from your sorrows completely but it will help to take your mind off of things for a few hours at a time. I guess it helps if you spend as little time with this person as you can but if she goes to the same sort of places you goto that can be extremely difficult.. again I can relate to that annoyance! Getting out and about on your bike should relax you more as well

[hessi]

good post section_8! UML was kind of boring at uni for me, but maybe you get more into it because you work on a project while we only had a single semester with small exercises. operating systems is a cool course! i had it last semester and it was really interesting to get the basics of a modern operating system (no i am of course not talking of windows based systems!). learned a lot about process synchronization and file management.

i once worked on a flash based application in the old fashion way. highly procedural fucked up code. though AS seems to be a bit shitty for debugging, but it is a powerful tool once you got into it. this semester i have to work out an application of my choice and maybe i will make a small kids game. technologies are yet to be decided, but flash would be in consideration (besides Ogre which is maybe too complex, but we will see )

[Section_Ei8ht]

good post section_8! UML was kind of boring at uni for me, but maybe you get more into it because you work on a project while we only had a single semester with small exercises. operating systems is a cool course! i had it last semester and it was really interesting to get the basics of a modern operating system (no i am of course not talking of windows based systems!). learned a lot about process synchronization and file management.

i once worked on a flash based application in the old fashion way. highly procedural fucked up code. though AS seems to be a bit shitty for debugging, but it is a powerful tool once you got into it. this semester i have to work out an application of my choice and maybe i will make a small kids game. technologies are yet to be decided, but flash would be in consideration (besides Ogre which is maybe too complex, but we will see )

The great thing about AS3.0 is that it's incredibly Object-Oriented and Event-Driven. It was just weird for me having used AS2 for around four years, then giving AS3 a go and and wondering why the old hacks no longer worked.

The Pong game I wrote is very procedural and not very OO, but thats the great thing about flash and AS3. You can hack together some quick code to get the job done or you can make it OO and very efficient. Small kids games are great to do in flash if they're not graphically intensive. Heck, it's why I used flash for my Pong clone. I figured I could do it quick in flash to help myself understand the functionality of the game and how the game logic and everything works without having to focus on specific implementations of API's or memory management. Now that I have an understanding of the game logic, I can port it to C++ and OpenGL or something to take that next step.

BTW, this thread is awesome. It's great to attach a greater sense of personality to all this text. I love reading everyone's stories. Really reinforces the feeling that I'm not alone anymore

[skdr]

BTW, this thread is awesome. It's great to attach a greater sense of personality to all this text. I love reading everyone's stories. Really reinforces the feeling that I'm not alone anymore Smile

I'm very happy to see people posting long stories. I've read them all and they're really good and mind opening to me.

I can't believe how some of you have very strong stories behind you, awesome. Glad to see people are doing fine. Sad to see people aren't doing that good but remember, keep it up. Everything will be fine

Now, still waiting for writeups from few fellow mapcorians!

[aevirex]

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