Im so lost right now. Need advice!

[Radu]

 

Edited December 15, 2016 by Radu

[Tisky]

Small update:
 

So i delete all my social media, except snapchat. All ppl i have on snap are family and her, and i was thinking about deleting that too but i thought hey, why not play a little game?

I started publishing snap stories of me and my days, with one little rule. In every story i am smiling! So i started of small, posting pics about me getting a new apartment, and how happy i am about it, then up to 2 days ago when i posted one of me in the bath (she and i used to bath together, wierd i know). And i wrote that i will miss having a bathtub at the new place, but it does'nt matter since taking a bath is not the same anymore (hint to her, it sucks without her).

After being cute 2 days ago, i followed up a snap yesterday, that apparantly pushed the right buttons. I posted a pic of me and wrote that i "overslept today, but its all good, after the rain comes the sun! Cleaned the place and ready for and awesome weekend! *smileyhappyface*".

Approx 10 minutes after seeing this she blocked me.  Mission accomplished. Now i know she is jealous and thinks i found someone else. 

 

I know, not very mature but it felt good.

[Vaya]

 it's the little things that get us through life

[Sprony]

On 12/15/2016 at 6:54 AM, Tisky said:

Small update:
 

So i delete all my social media, except snapchat. All ppl i have on snap are family and her, and i was thinking about deleting that too but i thought hey, why not play a little game?

I started publishing snap stories of me and my days, with one little rule. In every story i am smiling! So i started of small, posting pics about me getting a new apartment, and how happy i am about it, then up to 2 days ago when i posted one of me in the bath (she and i used to bath together, wierd i know). And i wrote that i will miss having a bathtub at the new place, but it does'nt matter since taking a bath is not the same anymore (hint to her, it sucks without her).

After being cute 2 days ago, i followed up a snap yesterday, that apparantly pushed the right buttons. I posted a pic of me and wrote that i "overslept today, but its all good, after the rain comes the sun! Cleaned the place and ready for and awesome weekend! *smileyhappyface*".

Approx 10 minutes after seeing this she blocked me.  Mission accomplished. Now i know she is jealous and thinks i found someone else. 

 

I know, not very mature but it felt good.

People tell you to take the high road or turn the other cheek. But I say fuck that, revenge is the sweetest thing next to getting pussy

[Tisky]

Haha, i felt bad after, so i guess its not my thing. I got up early saturday to get rid of some stuff i did not want to move to the next apartment, and when i got home i went to the store down my street. I almost slipped when i saw her car parked on my street, she lives in the town next to mine so she is rarely here. And more rarely on my street. 

Anyway i walk into the store and buy tobacco, get home and load up the car with more shit to throw away. As i leave my parkinglot guess who is driving by. You guessed it.

I was thinkin of ignoring her, but as i am a weak man i smiled and waved at her. She smiled back and waved and damn it felt good. But i still kept thinking she was driving by that early to check if i had company haha. I don't know. It's driving me crazy i guess? Still i felt good.

[Buddy]

7 hours ago, Tisky said:

Haha, i felt bad after, so i guess its not my thing. I got up early saturday to get rid of some stuff i did not want to move to the next apartment, and when i got home i went to the store down my street. I almost slipped when i saw her car parked on my street, she lives in the town next to mine so she is rarely here. And more rarely on my street. 

Anyway i walk into the store and buy tobacco, get home and load up the car with more shit to throw away. As i leave my parkinglot guess who is driving by. You guessed it.

I was thinkin of ignoring her, but as i am a weak man i smiled and waved at her. She smiled back and waved and damn it felt good. But i still kept thinking she was driving by that early to check if i had company haha. I don't know. It's driving me crazy i guess? Still i felt good.

Cray alert! 

[Tisky]

Cray cray, maybe. Or maybe she is hurting because she wants it but still have a hard time to leave her man (i mean be the bad guy when it comes to separate). I don't know.. Her man is rich and boring, and im a poor funny guy which she thinks is a don juan that sleeps with anything. Maybe i can't make her happy at all, and then it is easier to just leave it be.

Some days are easier than others, i have my ups and downs. I keep returning here when it is at the worst. Thinking it will go away. But most of the time i keep hoping to hear from her. I guess, if she is happy, i am sort of happy. That is what matters in the end right? 

[dux]

Ignore her, ignore it and everything to do with. Nothing she does is relevant to you. Remove from life and put it in trash.exe

You should of blanked her. Don't do it again.

[FrieChamp]

Tisky, how about finding a different girl and actually having a good time instead of posting snaps trying to get her attention? That shit is weak. She is still having control over you.

How likely is it really that she is going to leave you for her rich partner? I believe you when you say that you are more fun than him but financial stability has a strong pull on women especially when they reach a certain age. From my experience, when a girl tells you to "see other girls", she is not testing you to find out if you really want her more than other girls but instead she literally means: "This was a fling. It is over. I am not who/what you are looking for". 

What is not weak IMO is saying hi to her when you bump into her on the street. I wouldn't recommend to you to stay friends with her, because I can never do that when a girl breaks up with me myself. But keep some composure. I know you have heard this a thousand times probably but you need to meet other girls and you will soon find that this won't only take your mind off her but that you can have a great connection to other nice(er) ladies as well. Also, keep your chin up, mate!

[Tisky]

Sigh, i guess you are right. Sucks balls to face it thats all.. =(

[st0lve]

You're right Tisky, it sucks and it is hard, but it's just not worth the gamble and emotional hardship you're putting on yourself. Friechamp is right on the money.

My only advice would be to find a new social activity where you can meet new people. There is never a guarantee that you'll meet women, but new friends with a mutual hobby is always a great way to expand your social network and get away from whatever connection you have to someone who's bad for you.

[KoKo5oVaR]

Apparently from what you wrote Tisky, she is not happy in her couple, but how unhappy is she really and how is she able to actually cope with it ? You have to consider an important thing : you are free looking for someone, and she is engaged. That puts you in the waiting position while the choice is on her side. If she was sure of her love for you, she would take a clear and sharp decision, act, break up officially with her man and get engaged with you, but essentially that should be coming from her. However in the meantime, you are waiting. And you cannot wait forever ..

You know, there's people, more often out of unconscious suffering than calculated maliciousness, who vampirize others to fill their neurotic needs and make them carry the burden of what is going wrong in their life at their place. Is it the case ? I don't know. Is her love for you sincere but she is not able to assume by fear of breaking apart her family ? Did she used you to prove to herself she can still make a man fall in love and refill a worn down narcissism ? Is it a revenge to wake up the interest of her husband ? ...

But you have to get a grip on how ridiculously paradoxical it is to accuse of cheating an unofficial lover that you keep hanged to your decision while you are having it both ways .. Sounds like she may just have dropped all of her guilt on your shoulders for you to assume at her place and took a strategic retreat. From what you said, I think that guilt you can clearly shake it off right away.

But now you have taken some distance, and hopefully healed a bit, don't hurry, be easy on yourself and take your time to grieve the end of that relationship by following the wise advices all the good people of mapcore gave you above, have good moments with your children, concentrate on doing stuff, see people you like to spend good time with. And then, when you have recovered enough strength, I think it is important you ask yourself what was driving you towards a situation that was bad for you. It's always a good opportunity to learn something about yourself. And.. avoid it to happen again in the future.  ( If you have the time and money, who knows, maybe a psychoanalysis would help ?)

[Tisky]

Alot of wise words that make you think about it in another way. I feel that it is all over, but i have hope, inside my chest. I don't know why, but i keep thinking, that she'll come around, or, something will happen. I think that the hope have to die completely for me to move on, atleast that was the case with the mother of my children. 15 months of agony before i could let that go.

I know in my heart, she is the one, and she did not mean for this to happen at all. I mean, i was the one who contacted her and i bet she did not expect to hear from me again right? Dick move on my part. What an asshole i am, but a loving one!

Last few days i've been thinking about sending a merry x-mas message on x-mas eve, but i won't. I need to let it be now and let that hope in me slowly die, hopefully without running into her or her writing me a goddamned message, for that is when the hope grows huge again. I guess love finds a way,

As Nietzsche said, " There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness."

[Sprony]

My dad always told me "Johnny, you'll soon learn that pussy pulls harder than 10 horses". I didn't understand him at the time but boy did I learn that quickly.

The quickest solution is to find a rebound girl asap. But don't be a dick about it. Just because you don't love a woman, that doesn't mean you can't be sincere or respectful. 

You probably don't want to or think it's impossible at this moment. But nothing heals a broken heart quicker than the love and attention of another woman. Even if it's one sided.

[FrieChamp]

59 minutes ago, Sprony said:

My dad always told me "Johnny, you'll soon learn that pussy pulls harder than 10 horses".

QFT