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Thrik

What's going on with your life?

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I grew up in a town with ~18.000 citizens but a city with 325.000 is just 20 minutes away by car. Plus there are small villages and towns scattered throughout the area in between, so it never felt like being "isolated". If you are European and not from a village with less than 500 souls, I won't take you seriously  :v

 

I grew up in Ter Heijde (the one at sea). Now it has 520 people. Back then, max 400. Eat that :)

For the sake of reference, the city I live in now has 508.940 people.

 

 

I don't understand the European use of commas in long numbers! I keep reading them as decimal points and wondered why you would need to specify them as whole human beings with such a degree of accuracy! :(

 

For comparison, my hometown is a little over 20,000 people, but has very good transport links into London

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My gf has lost her job. Luckily the cuts are gonna take place in a few months, so she has time to find a new one.

Last couple of weeks have been very taxing tho, because she's being very negative on finding something else -there are not so many jobs in the environment and conservation sector- and basically she's just in denial: she loves her job, the team, and they were starting to see the fruits of one year of work.

It's hard trying to keep her mood up

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My ex was like that for over two years because she couldn't find a job she was happy with. I have to admit that it really wore me down, because being faced with that kind of negativity almost all of the time when I myself am an extremely positive and optimistic person is difficult.

I also found it difficult to really empathise with her. I knew that she was unhappy, but in her shoes I would have kept my mood upbeat and focused on the future — which indeed I did when I was surprised by redundancy. She couldn't do this, and bad moods went on for days after a crappy day at work.

It's like, I'd say comforting things but I found it hard to feel like I truly meant them deep down, and in most cases it didn't help anyway. I kind of just wanted her to be like me and snap out of it, keeping herself busy doing fun things rather than dwelling on problems that nothing can be done about other than applying for and trying new jobs, which she was doing anyway.

I learnt through the experience that I am absolutely not compatible with pessimistic personalities. I realise that this may not be helpful for you. :oops:

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So I've been in Vancouver for a month now, this place is pretty awesome.

I was on my first and only tinder date 2 weeks ago, and we've been hanging out ever since which is nice.

School is great too. A bit more written assignments and stuff than what I would have expected, but it's all good.

 

And if any of you are in Vancouver, pm me and we'll drink beer some time!

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My ex was like that for over two years because she couldn't find a job she was happy with. I have to admit that it really wore me down, because being faced with that kind of negativity almost all of the time when I myself am an extremely positive and optimistic person is difficult.

I also found it difficult to really empathise with her. I knew that she was unhappy, but in her shoes I would have kept my mood upbeat and focused on the future — which indeed I did when I was surprised by redundancy. She couldn't do this, and bad moods went on for days after a crappy day at work.

It's like, I'd say comforting things but I found it hard to feel like I truly meant them deep down, and in most cases it didn't help anyway. I kind of just wanted her to be like me and snap out of it, keeping herself busy doing fun things rather than dwelling on problems that nothing can be done about other than applying for and trying new jobs, which she was doing anyway.

I learnt through the experience that I am absolutely not compatible with pessimistic personalities. I realise that this may not be helpful for you. :oops:

Oh no don't worry, I was just venting out, thanks for sharing as well.

I have never been very optimistic myself, I became much more in the last few years when I actually started doing things I like.

I think it's pretty natural to be hit hard when you particularly like your job. She's also quite alone, the family is far north so she has only her best friends, which she's lucky to have a couple London, and me.

I think it's just a matter of time, she's starting to accept the situation, yesterday there was another bad news (probably less time than expected to have to leave) but she didn't react like previously. And today she got the good news of being selected for an interview, so yes. I'm hopeful of the situation getting more relaxed ;)

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Family pressuring me into looking at buying a house. I made a thread on this a while ago and I'm just not interested in it. I'm happy renting. "But you could rent the house!" I don't bloody want to. I'm content with what I have and spending my spare money on my hobbies like my car and computer. I still put away at least 20-40% of my pay cheque into my savings anyway.

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Family pressuring me into looking at buying a house. I made a thread on this a while ago and I'm just not interested in it. I'm happy renting. "But you could rent the house!" I don't bloody want to. I'm content with what I have and spending my spare money on my hobbies like my car and computer. I still put away at least 20-40% of my pay cheque into my savings anyway.

 

Don't let others pressure you into spending your money a certain way, it's none of their business unless you're living under their roof.

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Oh yeah, one thing I've noticed is that older people seem to almost universally buying a place as 'the done thing' and what you should strive towards. I just don't think they understand the modern world of people wanting the freedom to move around said world, not be tied into what can easily become a huge ball and chain around your neck, etc.

 

Obviously there are valid arguments for buying, but there are just as many for not as we've gone over in this thread. I've just started to completely disregard thoughts from others on whether or not I should buy because I know my own situation better than anyone — and I'm happy.

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Honestly if you aren't going to move Dux its probably a good idea, you would spend significantly less on a mortgage than on rent. But either way I wouldn't let anyone pressure you into doing something you aren't happy with.

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the initial stages of buying seem to be a massive money and time sink

 

I probably wouldn't do it if the GF wasn't pushing for it (I can sleep anywhere- GF wants a certain level of ownership and security...)

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