What's going on with your life?

[Radu]

@Tisky I don't know what to tell you, man. You're constantly in a bad spot. I honestly catch myself saying "Does this guy never get a break?" every time you post. Maybe it's the environment, your social circle or bad coincidences - whatever you want to call it. To me, it sounds like you're just bouncing around without a clear goal. What is your purpose? What motivates you to get out of bed? Your daughters? Also, how well can you take care of them given the decline you say you're experiencing? Don't take this as a personal attack, but rather just valid objective questions.

[Thrik]

I mean, those guys just sound like assholes @Tisky. Sounds like you aren't particularly close so you're better off having nothing to do with people who make you feel negative like that. If something isn't bringing positivity to your life then it's not something worth investing any energy into at all.

Not sure what your broader situation is, but you seem pretty unhappy. I've certainly been there and know the value of change. Is your town, job, general routine making you feel low? Change one or all of those things as a matter of priority. Variety truly is the spice of life, and it can be so liberating shedding the status quo and making new friends through a new job, etc. Screw the place you've invested time into if it's not doing it for you.

If your ex is forcing a dramatic change in terms of your children, have you considered mixing things up yourself and going and living somewhere closer? Doesn't have to be the same town, but maybe getting the hell away from what you're currently dealing with is a possibility. I guess it depends on how much time you spend doing things in your current area that you couldn't live without.

Of course there might be deeper issues like depression to contend with, and those won't go away no matter the circumstances I described above and definitely should be dealt with properly. However, general dissatisfaction with your lifestyle makes it all so much harder.

[Tisky]

Yes i guess its my daughters that get me up from bed, and hope that maybe this day will be different you know. I do not have many options really, moving is out of the picture since i cannot move further away from the kids mother, and moving to Gothenburg (a city i really do not like), or closer to it feels like a downgrade. When i was younger, i had my family here, my brother, my friends, my woman. It's like all those bits and pieces have been lost, piece by piece, and my options are lost with them. Living in a small town in the middle of the woods has its perks when you have children. Safer you know. 

I had a house together with my ex and she decided to split when the 2008 financial crisis was at a worst. At that point i was guttet and just wantet to move on for the sake of my own mental health, so we sold the house with a loss. Today i got a loan for the rest of this house, wich makes me inable to take a loan for a new apartment. So, if i wanted to move, i would have to take a loan for a new apartment, since, we have taken in so many refugees there are basicly no apartments to get (not even in my town). Zero. You could get in line and wait 10 years for an apartment in a big city tho. 

So you see, my choices of changing my surroundings are close to zero, wich makes my options close to zero really. The thing that gets me is probably that i don't really know what i can do. I've had my hopes for the education im currently studying, but its a long shot and far away. I went up 07.00 today, on a saturday. I have no idea what im going to do for the rest of the day except some studies, wich makes me feel im wasting time in my life. This drives me crazy, my heart is telling me to find a way, make life better for you and your kids you know, but im not finding any answers or ways to do that. I cant sit around hoping for change.

When i was 15 i put down work making maps, mods and what not, i had dreams. I wanted to work for Valve or Blizzard, make games. Thats how i ended up here. Bing bang boom, im 34, and i feel that dreaming is actually nothing more than a dream. It used to be possible to do things. Everytime i climb up a step on that ladder i fall down two steps. Haha

Edited September 16, 2017 by Tisky

[laminutederire]

People of Europe, don't forget to check the events of the European days for patrimony (or whatever it is called in English (journées du patrimoine in french). In Paris there are so many things to do for instance, and if it's like that all over Europe, everyone is here for a treat !

Have a nice weekend everyone

[leplubodeslapin]

I've been living in a favela in Rio de Janeiro for the last 2 weeks.

Damn guys we are lucky to be where we are. As much as i love seeing the country for its landscapes and the great sunny weather, I feel so lucky to live where i live. It's not really about terror and gangs that the media might speak about, it's more about the way people live here and are used to it.

You know it when you see their habbits, how they built houses without much plans, how they get themselves into debt to buy stuff that i wouldn't even buy (upgrading from a Galaxy S7 to an S8, taking a credit for months, taking another huge TV ...), how they drive (seatbelt is optional, there's no clear rule and everyone is just trying to overtake anyone else), how they let the old persons sick at home until they absolutely must go to the hospital, how they eat/drink, how they leave school very early and parents don't even care (people even ask you "but why do you still continue school ? Don't you want to work ?") ...

I love the people and I hope the best for all of them. But damn it hurts and i don't know how stuff are going to change/get better ...

 

Just an important note : the favelas represent "only" 25% of the population in Rio, I do not have an overall look over the city.

I'll get back home by the end of the week, i'll have some pictures to show you.

[Thrik]

Sounds pretty sobering. Even in this modern world of communication and news it's still impossible for me to imagine myself being in a situation like that. I seriously can't fathom how I'd cope with such a lifestyle, which I guess is exactly what you'd expect some developer living in England to say, but it does genuinely play on my mind sometimes when you see the outrageously bad conditions some people are living in and here we are acting like some piece of code or website is the most important thing ever. But what can you do? Aside from donating to charities I guess, which I do but it feels like a drop in an ocean. Bad stuff man.  

[-HP-]

7 hours ago, leplubodeslapin said:

You know it when you see their habbits, how they built houses without much plans, how they get themselves into debt to buy stuff that i wouldn't even buy (upgrading from a Galaxy S7 to an S8, taking a credit for months, taking another huge TV ...)

This is a gigantic problem, people have their priorities all mixed up. I mean, if you ask someone what they would rather spend money on, a shiny new cell phone or pay rent/buy food, unfortunately the former wins.
It's obviously a sign of bad culture, habits like these get absorbed by the collective masses without anyone even noticing until it's too late, and it only highlights the importance of education, because in the absence of schooling the capitalist world will swallow you and your culture whole.

[Minos]

In a way that's the mentality that drives people to become criminals too. If you live in the slums you basically have two options: You either go straight and get fucked all your life, working crazy hours at jobs that are 2+ hours away where you are treated like shit by the boss and get roughed up by brutal cops on the way back home, or you join the crime, and live a short life full of adventures and adrenaline where you get a chance to realize your material dreams. Sadly, the second option is much too appealing if you are living in that situation. Brazil is a really fucked up system that exists only to feed itself, at the expense of human lives and nature. It's a parasite that needs to be stopped before it's late!

[Thrik]

Yeah... I mean when you put it like that no wonder people are attracted to such a life. It's easy to disparage such behaviour when you're attracted to it in relatively cushy European countries, etc. But when it's somewhere where the options are so bad why not enjoy some years of exciting but extremely dangerous lifestyle. What a raw deal to end up born in those favelas.  

[leplubodeslapin]

Just now, Minos said:

In a way that's the mentality that drives people to become criminals too. If you live in the slums you basically have two options: You either go straight and get fucked all your life, working crazy hours at jobs that are 2+ hours away where you are treated like shit by the boss and get roughed up by brutal cops on the way back home, or you join the crime, and live a short life full of adventures and adrenaline where you get a chance to realize your material dreams. Sadly, the second option is much too appealing if you are living in that situation. Brazil is a really fucked up system that exists only to feed itself, at the expense of human lives and nature. It's a parasite that needs to be stopped before it's late!

I don't really know if the favelas can be considered as slums, they have built their houses with concrete and found a way to get water/electricity (the city helps them with that).

Here, crime isn't as common as you might hear on TV, I mean it used to be here but the city improved a lot in the last years (the olympic games helped). I don't think people see the police as an ennemy, they seem to be really useful to keep the peace around the city. And a favela is a sort of city, people share with each others, they can find work and they can study.

So, from what i've seen it's fortunately better than what you said, in Rio. But it's indeed still one hell of a fight if you want to get a better life. The girl i live with is actually from here, and damn she's been strong but she's now an engineer but obviously she's the 1 out of thousands to get there...

@[HP] I totally agree with you, education is definitely the key.

 

[Sprony]

Having lived that life for quite some time, it's really just like @[HP] and @Minos describe. If you live among the poor, the unwanted, the criminals, dealers and junkies, it's not really a choice. It's not that a life of crime or easy money is more appealing, for many that's all there is. People know who you are and who you associate with. They don't give you chances. The government doesn't give you chances. They keep you in that environment and out there, only the strong and ruthless survive. The weak and poor are always being fucked over by the rich. Always have, always will.

I was lucky because I met a uptown girl who had a weak spot for bad boys. The girl wasn't that interesting, but her parents really fell in love with me. They took me in. Cleaned me up, arranged an education, job and what not. They gave me a chance to escape that life. Without them, I would have been another lost soul.

[RaVaGe]

Started running again, currently going at a pace of 4,40 Min/KM on 9KM, trying to get to 4,20 next month

 

Edited September 24, 2017 by RaVaGe

[El Moroes]

I just come back from 2 days spent in the mountains ! It was amazing ! Now I'm tired ^^
A video I made on a peak (in french guys  ).

 

[will2k]

On 9/24/2017 at 11:38 PM, El Moroes said:

I just come back from 2 days spent in the mountains ! It was amazing ! Now I'm tired ^^
A video I made on a peak (in french guys  ).

 

c'est où ça? les Alpes ou les Pyrénées?

The fog always kills the scene; I've lived in a mountainous region for 5 years and God, how I hated the thick fog in the middle of the Summer

[El Moroes]

2 hours ago, will2k said:

c'est où ça? les Alpes ou les Pyrénées?

The fog always kills the scene; I've lived in a mountainous region for 5 years and God, how I hated the thick fog in the middle of the Summer

Alps  

Yep, it came fast !