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What's going on with your life?

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On 6/26/2017 at 5:33 AM, Bastion said:

Just got back home from my last day in education, secured my business diploma.

So..... what now?

Make some games :dance:

14 hours ago, FMPONE said:

Really feels like I'm lifting a mountain with Sub-Zero, now that it's (kind of) wrapping up, the scale of it is very daunting. It's been quite a ride...

pix, boy!

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So, I've been dealing with pretty bad anxiety and REALLY BAD self-hatred for like a 1 year now, which I've grown pretty tired about tbh. All this self-hatred started out as an inside joke between me and my close friends really, which eventually over a few months made me realise how many things there's actually wrong with me, in comparison to other people with like the perfect lives, looks and shit etc etc.

Let me give you guys some examples on what I think is wrong with me:

- Rock bottom self-esteem

- Anxiety

- No social life, besides school (most of my friends prefers to just chill over discord and play games, so It's pretty hard to plan something)

- Looks (not really face, more like from the neck down. Been trying to go to the gym, but I simply do not have enough motivation at the moment)

- Negativity

There's more I'm sure, but can't think about it right now.

 

Basically all the things above have fucked my sleeping, and fucked my school work.

So, if there's any experts on this sort of thing, then I could really need some advice, before I actually need to go to therapy and turn my life around for real.

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Sometimes it's necessary to take some time alone to reevaluate life so we can slowly build the future that we want to live in. Read a lot (we are all hardwired the same way), take one step at a time and don't be too harsh on yourself when you inevitably fail :) 

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1 hour ago, madsenfk said:

So, I've been dealing with pretty bad anxiety and REALLY BAD self-hatred for like a 1 year now, which I've grown pretty tired about tbh. All this self-hatred started out as an inside joke between me and my close friends really, which eventually over a few months made me realise how many things there's actually wrong with me, in comparison to other people with like the perfect lives, looks and shit etc etc.

Let me give you guys some examples on what I think is wrong with me:

- Rock bottom self-esteem

- Anxiety

- No social life, besides school (most of my friends prefers to just chill over discord and play games, so It's pretty hard to plan something)

- Looks (not really face, more like from the neck down. Been trying to go to the gym, but I simply do not have enough motivation at the moment)

- Negativity

There's more I'm sure, but can't think about it right now.

 

Basically all the things above have fucked my sleeping, and fucked my school work.

So, if there's any experts on this sort of thing, then I could really need some advice, before I actually need to go to therapy and turn my life around for real.

I think we've all battled that exact same thing in here, in one way or the other. I sure as hell did in various stages of my life. 
I'm sure people would argue with me on this, but I've developed the opinion that I think it will never go away, which is a really scary thought. "Will I have to endure this pain for the rest of my life?" The good thing about it though, is that once you acknowledge the existence of a problem, it's the first step taken towards knowing how to analyse it, rationalize it and ultimately find ways to solve it.

For me, my low self esteem developed into very specific irrational fears. Impostor syndrome attacks many of us, we're all scared shitless that people around us will realize that we're the frauds we think we are. The reality is, it gets better once you realize that we're all just winging it here man, we have no idea what we're doing, none of us do. Some of the people that I've looked forward the most in life turned out to have very low self esteem, the diference is they found ways to work around the problem instead of trying to swipe it under the rug. The thing about the mind is that there's no point in hiding from it, you'll be better of tackling the areas you want to improve dead on. Know thy enemy.

One of my favourit authors Robert Greene (who really helped me become a better human being) said that every single one of us have distinct DNA, you're the first one of your kind and you'll be the last, make it count. We need to learn to harvest that uniqueness, usually the best artists and people of power discover and learn to explore that.

Also, remember to exercise regularly, fuck motivation just get off your fat ass and hit the treadmill and specially weights! The testosterone will do wonders for your mind and your body and eat well while avoiding sugar like the plague. So remove that fucking signature and go be the hero of your story!

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On 6/29/2017 at 6:05 PM, MadsenFK said:

So, I've been dealing with pretty bad anxiety and REALLY BAD self-hatred for like a 1 year now, which I've grown pretty tired about tbh. All this self-hatred started out as an inside joke between me and my close friends really, which eventually over a few months made me realise how many things there's actually wrong with me, in comparison to other people with like the perfect lives, looks and shit etc etc.

Let me give you guys some examples on what I think is wrong with me:

- Rock bottom self-esteem

- Anxiety

- No social life, besides school (most of my friends prefers to just chill over discord and play games, so It's pretty hard to plan something)

- Looks (not really face, more like from the neck down. Been trying to go to the gym, but I simply do not have enough motivation at the moment)

- Negativity

There's more I'm sure, but can't think about it right now.

 

Basically all the things above have fucked my sleeping, and fucked my school work.

So, if there's any experts on this sort of thing, then I could really need some advice, before I actually need to go to therapy and turn my life around for real.

Echoing things others have said. Please understand:

-Excercise 

-Diet

-Sleep

If you're not taking care of these things, don't expect to be happy. If you're taking care of these things and you're still not happy, eliminate people from your life. You will know whom to eliminate based on how you feel when you are around them.

Lastly, make positive thinking your default. If you start to have a negative thought about the future, immediately think of a counteracting positive thought, even if it's ridiculous. "What if GabeN descended my chimney like Santa Claus and handed me a bag of puppies."

Take care of yourself and remember you only get ONE LIFE. One chance at this stuff, so make it yours and own happiness. And for God sake, take care of your physical structure or else you are fucked.

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One thing often leads to another, for me it was work related stress. I was having some serious impostor syndrome and way too much to do at work. This led to psychosomatic symptoms such as insomnia, which in turn makes things worse. I managed to break free from it and turned my life on the right path. Sleep, excersice and talking to someone. You're young, you'll meet plenty of like minded people along the way. You also don't have to go to the gym, buy a pair of dumbells, look up bodyweight excercises. Think rope skipping is for little girls? Try doing it for 30 minutes straight, exhaust yourself and you will sleep.

I still feel anxiety every now and then, we all do. Right now it's about making a career switch at 31, with two kids and a full time job. Holy shit is it rough, but I'll manage. You will too man.

Edited by grapen

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Thanks for all the help you guys have provided. It definetly has helped!

But I went into further investigation on the anxiety thing, and found out that I might have these panic attacks, due to all the symptoms which I have felt.

For example, sometimes on public transport or just being in my house, I feel like something really shit could happen. A few months ago I sometimes felt that a plane would crash down in my house. This isn't really a thing anymore, but I still sometimes feel like some shit is gonna happen. "Palpitations" is also a thing I've gotten, which mostly happens when I go to bed. Talking about sleep, for the past few days I've had a bit of trouble falling asleep. I close my eyes, but my brain just stops me from doing that. It's quite hard to explain, but it just feels like I wake up instantly after I've closed my eyes, even though I haven't slept at all. This usually results in me sleeping like 30 mins after I initially chose to sleep.

Just the symptoms I have, and what I don't have in more basic form:

  • "Racing" heart 
  • Feeling weak, faint, or dizzy X
  • Tingling or numbness in the hands and fingers X
  • Sense of terror, or impending doom or death ✓ (not really death, more like fear in general)
  • Feeling sweaty or having chills X
  • Chest pains ✓ (this has happened once)
  • Breathing difficulties  (this also happened that same day as the chest pains)
  • Feeling a loss of control X

 

So I guess I have to do some of the things you guys recommended, and contact a psychologist immediately, before all this goes to more shit.

Thanks again for the comments!

 

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My life recently summed up in a gif:

giphy.gif

But hey, beers tonight, that nice :D

 

 

On 6/30/2017 at 0:05 AM, MadsenFK said:

So, I've been dealing with pretty bad anxiety and REALLY BAD self-hatred for like a 1 year now, which I've grown pretty tired about tbh. All this self-hatred started out as an inside joke between me and my close friends really, which eventually over a few months made me realise how many things there's actually wrong with me, in comparison to other people with like the perfect lives, looks and shit etc etc.

Let me give you guys some examples on what I think is wrong with me:

- Rock bottom self-esteem

- Anxiety

- No social life, besides school (most of my friends prefers to just chill over discord and play games, so It's pretty hard to plan something)

- Looks (not really face, more like from the neck down. Been trying to go to the gym, but I simply do not have enough motivation at the moment)

- Negativity

There's more I'm sure, but can't think about it right now.

 

Basically all the things above have fucked my sleeping, and fucked my school work.

So, if there's any experts on this sort of thing, then I could really need some advice, before I actually need to go to therapy and turn my life around for real.

See somebody, talk about it! When my fiance left me i started going to the gym. Eat right, sleep and work out and you will feel so much better, i promise. Just push yourself for a couple of days and the "oh this is so tiresome"-feeling will turn into "Fuck yeah im feeling healthier and stronger. It's really addictive, i should know, i never thought i would be a guy at the gym.

I started eating vitamin-d and protein shakes, wich i think helped alot. Also i tried talking to proffessionals, even tho i did not feel that it helped me at the time, i guess it helped me realize i am the one in control of my life. You can always find my thread in off-topic and read my story. Even tho life seems like it is crap (like right now for me and you) it always does turn out good if you do something about it. Even tho you don't know what you should do you should just try stuff, eventually you will find that something that makes you want to get up. 

Take one day at a time but have somewhat of a goal, just remember its okay not to hit the goal everytime. Much love mate.

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37 minutes ago, Tisky said:

You can always find my thread in off-topic and read my story. Even tho life seems like it is crap (like right now for me and you) it always does turn out good if you do something about it. Even tho you don't know what you should do you should just try stuff, eventually you will find that something that makes you want to get up. 

That was one hell of a thread that was. Here's a link to it:

 

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1 hour ago, MadsenFK said:

Just the symptoms I have, and what I don't have in more basic form:

  • "Racing" heart 
  • Feeling weak, faint, or dizzy X
  • Tingling or numbness in the hands and fingers X
  • Sense of terror, or impending doom or death ✓ (not really death, more like fear in general)
  • Feeling sweaty or having chills X
  • Chest pains ✓ (this has happened once)
  • Breathing difficulties  (this also happened that same day as the chest pains)
  • Feeling a loss of control X

This is indeed panic anxiety. "Fight or flight" mode, a natural defence mechanism that triggers when facing life threatening danger, such as standing face to face with a dangerous animal. Your pupils widen, adrenaline shoots out making your heart race, your muscles contract causing chest pain, blood rushes to your larger muscle groups causing tingling in your hands, your mind races etc. This is harmless in itself, but can be very traumatizing, especially when experienced outside of a dangerous situation, many even think that they're about to die. This in turn can lead to health anxiety, which by the sounds of it, happened to you.

The health anxiety will make you more susceptible to noticing harmless, natural things happening in your body, such as skipped heartbeats (which happens to everyone, though most won't notice it), which in turn will trigger you to get even more anxious. It's a vicious cycle, but it can be broken.

What helps? CBT. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, excercise, sleep and a good diet. Read up on it online and talk to your parents about it. That is the best advice I can give you.

Edited by grapen

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Will definitely work on my diet first, and start out slow on the exercise part. I don't really know how I'm gonna fix my sleeping issue, but hopefully it will be easier when the two other things have been fixed up.

Talked to my parents, and I feel so relieved tbh. Now I'll have to get a doctors appointment sometime next week, and we'll see what happens. Thanks for the help guys!

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2 hours ago, MadsenFK said:

Will definitely work on my diet first, and start out slow on the exercise part. I don't really know how I'm gonna fix my sleeping issue, but hopefully it will be easier when the two other things have been fixed up.

Talked to my parents, and I feel so relieved tbh. Now I'll have to get a doctors appointment sometime next week, and we'll see what happens. Thanks for the help guys!

Trust me bro, work out hard at the gym and you will sleep even if a train passes your bed ;)

The good kind of exhaustion, that makes you sleep good, and wake up feeling better. Worth a shot right? Half an hour at the gym , 48 half hours per day :)

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7 hours ago, MadsenFK said:

I don't really know how I'm gonna fix my sleeping issue, but hopefully it will be easier when the two other things have been fixed up.

For me lemon balm or any other sleepy time tea helps. You can always try smoking a joint, but one step at a time! :D lmao

Good luck bro.

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@MadsenFK I had to battle with panic attacks a lot in the past. It's not easy because it's all in your head and irrational. What helped me was to always double check what my last thought was before panic kicked in. Although it feels like a physical problem the panic always starts with a bad thought, like for instance a short flash where you have a picture in your head about something bad that could happen. Being aware of these thoughts helps not freaking out that something could be wrong with your health and can stop the panic atttack before it gets worse.

The other thing that helped me get over the worst of it was that i stopped fearing the fear. At some point i got so upset with it that i developed a "fuck off" attitude towards the fear and in that moment clicked something for me that it had no power over me anymore.

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