What's going on with your life?

[dux]

You are an idiot. Go on those dates before I shove my boot up yer ass.

[Vaya]

dux is gonna end up chaperoning

[-HP-]

10 hours ago, Tisky said:

Been busy getting dates, but cancel everytime because i can't let go of the person i love. Because everytime i let go she pops up somehow, Making me Hope. I'm a fucking idiot.

Don't put yourself in the situation where you regret not doing stuff you wish you had. One of the worse feelings in the world, is looking back at your past, short or long term and saying "I wish i'd done this or that." 

[Tisky]

Yes i will try, followed my friend to a cabin with two girls tonight, not having fun but i guess it is better than Being home alone playing games :). Probably have a date tomorrow, not nervous or anything but i have a hard time looking forward to it since i Dont really feel  interested. Guess i got to Do this anyway. Put a smile on and give her a chance.

[Minos]

haha don't follow anyone's advice (specially not dux's), only you know what's better for you!!!

[dux]

Finest Mapcore advice to be had here from me  

Just find a girl @Tisky and gorilla fuck her. Get it out your system.

[blackdog]

Seen some pics on fb @TheOnlyDoubleF, I imagine you had/having fun

@Tisky I would imagine that's very hard but just try to stick to it.

~

Have a couple extra days off due to the centre being closed, trying to sort pending pay and other life shit and looking at how to leave the job and move forward.

Also just reconnected with my aunt after a long time and the cancer attacked her again and she's unsure how much she has to live.

Edited April 15, 2017 by blackdog

[Tisky]

Turns out my date canceled on me, wich is nice. Sort of ?. 

I actually started talking to my ex-gf (the lesbian one) about My situation and it feels good to get a womans view on everything. 

I am 34 years old, and i have been with alot of women , most of them one-nighters. What really gets me about this woman i cannot let go is that even tho it has been almost 3 months now i still hope. After 1 month, we talk for a day, basicly i hear she wants to end it in a 'good way' since you never know What happens. 2 months, she writes me on My birthday, fucking hearts and  loving stuff, making me Hope again. It simply wont go 2 fucking weeks without something happening, running into her or something else like her liking My facebook Status (even tho we are not friends). 

See My problem? It is slowly killing me, and i dont know how to make it stop. 

Maybe i need to turn off life, all social shit. Find a hobby that i can Do from My home and never go outside again. And then, wait. 

Sorry for bringing this up again but i think Im going to loose it.

[Radu]

@Tisky she's just trying to be nice because she feels bad for you. That's why she sends you happy wishes every now and then. That's why she pops a like out of the blue. That's it. She isn't trying to get back together with you. It's one of the shittiest things you can do to someone after a breakup, not allowing them to hate you. I've seen this before. You'll feel better after a year or two. Keep seeing other people. 

[Sprony]

I would love to help you @Tisky, but I honestly can't think of any advice that hasn't already been given to you. Plus, I'm incapable of looking it from your perspective because my mind doesn't work that way. Whenever I had heartache, like the time my ex left me for one of my best friends 4 months after we bought a house together, I reacted completely different. Even though I lived together for 5 years with her, my way of processing things was to erase her existence. I changed my email, phone number and what not, completely ignored her and really send everything I had of her, including the most expensive gifts, back. It drove her crazy and made her try to stalk me, but I didn't care. Even years later, she send me a letter, personally delivered through a mutual friend, which I immediately threw away without reading. Something I never regretted.

It's not that I didn't want to talk to her, or that I didn't miss her or wished she would come back. No, it's because she was a lying sneaky slut that stabbed me in the back and I deserve better than that. It's because I love myself more and most of all, it's because I'm stone-cold unforgiving vindictive motherfucker that doesn't take shit from nobody. You can bet your ass I gorilla fucked every girl I could and partied like my life depended on it. And you know what? That pain slowly goes away. You'll think less and less about her and eventually it's just another burned bridge, with a distant memory of the smell of smoke and the assumption that once your eyes watered. 

[Tisky]

Ok. Erase, no rewind and play. Got it.

[dux]

@Tisky More of this

[Sprony]

23 hours ago, Tisky said:

Ok. Erase, no rewind and play. Got it.

You know the best part? She stabbed him in the back too. Ran off with another guy leaving him with a lot of debt and without his child. It sucks for the kid, but man, karma is a bitch and he got what was coming to him. If you stop falling into those pussy traps and learn to play the long game, you will eventually have the last laugh. His life is shit. Her life shit and my life is great in comparison  

[Tisky]

Thanks for sharing your story Sprony! Im glad you found someone good and got kids with!

My ex told me she was dating someone, she did not want to let go but at the same time  id not want to be with. I told her to please fucking explain how she is thinking because that is probably how the girl i love is thinking. She had no real explanation so i guess some people are like this. Eat the cake and keep the cake. I've been trying to understand why she does some things, because i know they are aimed at me. I don't think she's trying to be nice because she feels bad for me Radu. I think she cannot make up her fucking mind and don't want me to let go. I can promise you this. Once i let go, and find someone else. She will come running! 

I should try and see the possibilities of switching my phone number (or just block her number), block her on FB and Insta. Delete my snapchat. Vanish. I think i gotta do as Sprony did, erase. I just got to get the courage and balls to do it. I am angry sometimes, but then i miss her, then i am angry. I'm such a little pussy that can't let go of someone i know deep inside wants to be with me. As someone said in my locked thread, women with kids wants security first and a good life for them. I could never give her a better life than she has with her current man, atleast not today. Maybe when i am 40 and got rid of the dept from the house i owned with my ex. 

I think i need a break from everything, work and shit. Stress. Last months my short-term memory is so bad and i've been dizzy and not really been feeling good with all the anxiety. I'm not as tough as i used to be or i am getting old.

[Minos]

On 4/15/2017 at 2:17 PM, Tisky said:

Turns out my date canceled on me, wich is nice. Sort of ?. 

I actually started talking to my ex-gf (the lesbian one) about My situation and it feels good to get a womans view on everything. 

I am 34 years old, and i have been with alot of women , most of them one-nighters. What really gets me about this woman i cannot let go is that even tho it has been almost 3 months now i still hope. After 1 month, we talk for a day, basicly i hear she wants to end it in a 'good way' since you never know What happens. 2 months, she writes me on My birthday, fucking hearts and  loving stuff, making me Hope again. It simply wont go 2 fucking weeks without something happening, running into her or something else like her liking My facebook Status (even tho we are not friends). 

See My problem? It is slowly killing me, and i dont know how to make it stop. 

Maybe i need to turn off life, all social shit. Find a hobby that i can Do from My home and never go outside again. And then, wait. 

Sorry for bringing this up again but i think Im going to loose it.

Well she's clearly confused too otherwise she wouldn't let go of you. If you two keep getting drawn to each other it won't help to shut it off, one day the feelings will inevitably erupt and maybe not in a good way. Could it be that you are overthinking the situation, reading too much into it, trying to control it too much? If there's one trait that women appreciate in men is confidence, and judging from your last posts you might be coming across as the complete opposite: clingy, insecure and unstable. Being confident is not something that you just decide to do overnight, it's a change of attitude that emerges out of knowing yourself well, after doing a lot of "soul searching", internal work that brings unconscious patterns to awareness. it takes a lot of time! Also pay attention to what frequency you set your mind. If you are constantly angry and anxious, that's the kind of situation that you will attract.

Who the fuck am I to give advice to anyone, and I even joked about not following anyone's advices, but if I was in your place I'd take the long game in this situation. Resume your life, keep healthy habits, READ a shit ton, look for any information that might shed light into this situation and the most important thing you can learn is to love yourself first. You are never going to have a happy relationship if your happiness depends on others. The Buddah said that the root of all suffering is attachment. This is my opinion of course, but everything happens the way they had to. If this is happening to you now, take it as an opportunity to get stronger, evolve and get rid of the traits that don't serve you anymore! In a few years you will look back at this time in your life and realize how much you grew from all these experiences, and even if you are not together with this girl, you will feel thankful for all the positive changes she caused in you.

Here's a good place with tons of really good information, you just have to search a bit: https://www.psychologytoday.com/

Here's something that might help you understand some of her behaviors, and yours too: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201307/how-your-attachment-style-impacts-your-relationship

If nothing else helps, psychotherapy could help!