Chris Shilts - Web Developer

[Chris Shilts]

 

So, after years of dreaming about it, you finally managed to get your awesome game ready for release upon an unsuspecting populace. That’s great!

 

There is just one small problem. You don’t have a website! Woe unto the developers who plan to spread the word about their awesome game without the assistance of a website. Their hair shall fall out from stress. Their legs shall atrophy from lack of use, and their shall backs ache from sitting. Their bellies shall grow fat, and their smell shall be revolting to the opposite sex!

 

I’m so happy you found this thread Developer. I can spare you the trauma that is building a website (or the divine retribution for not having one). You need not destroy your computer, or endlessly crack your skull on a wall trying to figure out why the damn pixels won’t move where you are frantically trying to tell them to go at the last fracking minute!

 

Since you are in the industry I would very much like to build websites for, I’ll give you a 50% discount if you let me put my logo at the bottom of the pages I build for you. This means you’re practically getting me for minimum wage!

Now here are some other great reasons you should hire me to build your game’s website:

• Your time would be much better used developing the game you are passionate about, not trying to figure out why the damn layout is broken;
• You can get a custom, cross-browser, responsive design- that’s right, I said custom;
• Or if you’re really on a budget, I can work with some boring template;
• Your site can span several platforms such as forums, blogs, and Wiki’s, while maintaining a consistent user experience.
• Because Darth Vader needed Storm Troopers to do the shooting, so he could use his precious time to force-choke his generals (Don’t you want to be like Lord Vader?);
• I love Video Games! Seriously, if I like your game, that means I’m that much more passionate about making the best damn website I can for you. Not having to collect cans down by the Marina would be nice too.

So, if you've read this far, you might like to see some of the sites I have made. Here's a short list:

 

http://www.theintercooler.com/

http://waterlineband.com/

Star Fox Fansite

Thanks for reading, I hope you where entertained

Edited April 3, 2014 by Chris Shilts