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possibly some of the greatest entertainment ever created on the internet

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if there ever was an instance of a professional troll, this guy would be it.

From: Richard Matthews

Date: Tuesday 6 May 2008 7.42pm

To: David Thorne

Subject: Rove

Fuck you retard wydont you shut up! he dident ask for his gilrfriend to die so use your brain to work out how you would feel and just fucken shutup!

From: David Thorne

Date: Tuesday 6 Nov 2007 8.04pm

To: Richard Matthews

Subject: Re: Rove

Thankyou for your recommendation Dick, I am currently writing a television script that I think you would be perfect for, it features a genius of superior wit and intellect who uses his uncanny abilities to protect the innocent. Aided by his loyal pet, masturbating monkey, he endeavors to right wrongs and solve crimes. At the end of each episode he will leave us with a profound, thought provoking and politically correct statement such as "don't leave your pet in the car with the windows up" or "fuck you retard wydont you shut up". An important part of the character development as I see it, would be the developing relationship between yourself and masturbating monkey. The show will be titled 'Monkey Dick' (a combination of private dick and the pet monkey, similar to 'canine cop') and I do hope you will make yourself available for this opportunity.

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Lol, what an arse of a kid:

Sometimes I cannot work out my offspring. One moment he will state something that catches me off guard with it's clarity, then the next come out with something that causes me to think he may be mentally handicapped.

I was called into his school to speak with the teacher recently. Her statement "He has a good sense of humour but he is the only one that gets it" slightly concerned me but her explanation of why he had received three detentions made me laugh which is not the reaction she expected;

Detention 1

Raised his hand during maths class and asked "If Kate (a large girl in his class) did not eat for five weeks, would she get skinny or die?"

Detention 2

After teachers had calmed down a very upset child , it was dicovered that Seb had told her "I heard the teachers saying that your parents died today and you are going to have to live at the school."

Detention 3

While the principal was explaining the 'no nut policy' due to nut allergies during a school assembly, Seb yelled out "Woah, thats a lot of nuts" after watching the movie Kung Pow the night before.


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