Tisky

Because i have been alone for many years after my ex left me, i never did want to be alone. I miss having someone to come home to. You know, i feel i have had enough time focusing on myself! I get What you mean but Im past that.

Still nothing, which is nice. This time it's easier because i am really fed up with everything. I got info on my new apartment yesterday so looks like im moving next weekend already! I have no idea how im going to get it done in time but hell it will keep me occupied. New apartment and new beginnings right? I tried Tinder but fuck that shit, it is so shallow. Tried the pub here last friday, and met a girl i used to work with (7 years ago or so), she bought me a beer and told me to not leave when i was on my way home, and instead join them at their table. It was nice but nothing happened there, i think she was just being friendly which was nice! Anyhow, hope you guys have more luck

Played on my phone on my lunch-break. Won agains this guy and i even tho i don't fully understand his saltyness it was kind of funny. i won a 3rd report. yay, where do i collect?

Haha Pampers!!! More likely to see Episode 3 come out HL3

So i did it. I ended it, this "friendship". I'm not sure today why she wanted to be friends but i guess it was to keep tabs on me or something. When she contacted me again she was all sweet and kind, as usually, and after 2-3 weeks the same thing happens. She was annoyed when i wrote or asked some question and said she did not want to socialize with anyone right now. So i was at work, thinking fuck, those mapcore dudes were so right. I did not feel good when i there was silence between me and her but i felt better. I guess her being an immature child and egoistic bastard helped alot but i just told her the truth. "You make me feel like shit, sorry but this friendship thing is not working." She said that i had to do what i had to do, and that she hoped i was not angry or disappointed in her. I told her i was because i do not think she has been truthful. "I never lied to you" she said, well boom shackalacka i replied "And i have not lied to you, but as you know words mean nothing apparantly. Sorry!" Fuck that shit. I finally had enough and boy it actually feels great. Not a happy ending (well maybe since i probably dodged a fat big bullet), but sometimes you have two choices in life, to keep fightning or to move on, and boy am i outta ammo right now. The motherfucking end! WUBALUBADUBDUB!

Fuck i think i have to sell my soul and body for an PS4.

This game is like My lovelife.

You and me @biXen :

WOoo GZ Puddy!! Next time i visit my bro in Stockholm i will come over and poke you all! In the non gay way.

@biXen , yes. I can relate to the family part. Being the last remainder of my family here it is pretty lonely. We never did have a normal family that keep in touch. All in all, that is a bad factor for when you finally meet someone. Having been lonely for so long you get terrified of loosing your new found warmth. Also i am jim carrey from dumb and dumber when i am with women. Once a girl i was on a date with asked me if i wasnt freezing when we sat in her sofa. She pulled out a blanket and i thought , fuck its like a sauna in here is she crazy. i did not realize my mistake until the very next day...

Haha,. nothing new. Small-talk and i try not to write alot, i think i've gotten to the point where i am just sick of it all and can't find a single fuck to give. To be continued.

So, we have spoken and i told her alot of stuff. She said let's just be friends, and i said sure. Don't come crying when i meet someone, and she promised not to (this time). Told her i've waited over a year and i cannot keep waiting anymore. So that's it, it's over! Feels kind of good, now i can start dating others without hoping and thinking im doing the wrong thing. I totally gotta get laid.

Cool videos, i Think that Rey is a Kenobi, i bet we will see a Kenobi anthology movie efter the Han-Solo one, showing us Reys past. Hell , Ewan McGregor is at a perfect age for it now.

I miss the Ole Mccree. Before the nerf..

Happy New Year you wonderful bastards!

To be fair i was drunk christmas eve.. oh well. Im sorry im letting you guys down

I wrote "Merry Christmas" to her on christmas eve. And she said the same, nothing more than that. Felt kind of good even tho i was going to ignore. Im a bitch. 3 Days later i post a pizza on instagram that my kids and i made, and she wrote "That pizza looks good". And now we are talking again. What is happening. What have i done?!

Nooo Carrie Fisher , may the force be with you.

Stay alive, find love. Easy as pie.

Middle of a competative game, suddenly im kicked out into the menus? Click Re-Join match and nothing happens. So restart game quick, boom. Suspended. What tha fuck happened???

So, christmas eve here tomorrow. I don't think she will, but, if she writes merry x-mas or something, i should just not reply right? Right guys?

Lol! It is one for the movies i tell you. haha. Always missed: MrH2o. <3

Hard truth.

Lol Dux. Yeah im probably just grasping hope here. After 3 weeks of silence i wrote her and she told me it was for the best that we did not talk, even if it hurts so much for both me and her. She told me it was hard and painful (no not my penis). After that talk, it has been 4 weeks. I don't know why i keep hoping really. Im an idiot. Ah what a year, in the summer we told each other in person, that we loved each other. That day nothing could get me down. Those days are over. On christmas eve im gonna go get drunk with friends (the single and lonely ones of my friends), at the local pub. I guess it's a perfect time to enjoy a beer and have fun! Also, will probably be mostly single people there so that's good i guess! Maybe i will get that rebound haha.

Alot of wise words that make you think about it in another way. I feel that it is all over, but i have hope, inside my chest. I don't know why, but i keep thinking, that she'll come around, or, something will happen. I think that the hope have to die completely for me to move on, atleast that was the case with the mother of my children. 15 months of agony before i could let that go. I know in my heart, she is the one, and she did not mean for this to happen at all. I mean, i was the one who contacted her and i bet she did not expect to hear from me again right? Dick move on my part. What an asshole i am, but a loving one! Last few days i've been thinking about sending a merry x-mas message on x-mas eve, but i won't. I need to let it be now and let that hope in me slowly die, hopefully without running into her or her writing me a goddamned message, for that is when the hope grows huge again. I guess love finds a way, As Nietzsche said, " There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness."