Tisky

We can talk about it all we want, but i´ve been there. It is the heavy pressure on your chest, the anxiety, and all the stress of feeling trapped in a situation in life that you have no idea how to untangle that gets you there. After one year of feeling like my life is falling like a house of cards i began to think about it, because i could not take waking up like that every single day. I tried talking to professionals and when that did not help you kind of feel like "this is how it's gonna be from now on". You fail to see the world around you, because you are so busy with this fucking anxiety and stress from that. I never thought i would get to that point, my father commited suicide and i used to think that he was a fucking coward and a selfish bastard. Really. I was more angry than sad. Now on the other hand, i know how he must have felt, and i understand him even though i don't think he took the right way out i understand what drove him over the edge. He never told anyone about how he felt, i guess he was too proud. I only told my brother when i felt like shit, i guess men are proud? Stupid and proud. Anyhow, it is a disease as RaVaGe said. I luckily got past the point so i never took that step, because i found some light and got the anxiety to go away. But when you are in that bubble, it is like a viscious circle. You need help. So if anyone gets to that point, remember that there is always sunshine after the rain, even tho the rain might last for a long time. Just find the sun. Much love to you all.

Goosebumps

I have a Minutes to Midnight cd with autographs from the band, framed and everything. Lately i thought 'It used to mean so much to me, but now its more like 'meh'. Been thinking about that concert 2007, Chester went out into the crowd, stood on a chair and sang 'Crawling'. The arms from the crowd around him made it look like he was sinking into the crowd . Gives me goosebumps.

I met Linkin Park, 2007 in Stockholm , a meet and greet. Chester was a down to earth person that really made the concert special. The News of his death is gutting, i loved Linkin Parks old songs and i will miss him. The voice of him Screaming is amazing and god What a loss. People can say What they want but he was one of a kind.

Aaand Captain America 1-2 (Already had Civil War), Thor 1+2, and Ant-Man Trying to collect my favs on Blu-Ray!

Meanwhile, vacation is awesome, going to my home town tomorrow to meet some relatives, and on Friday i will go up to Stockholm for my brothers wedding! Im gonna be a groom so i am a bit nervous. Since my brother is the worlds worst Singer we had him record the Armageddon song and then i made a music video from the bachelor party with his song. It all ends with him sucking a shot from another guys belly-button. We are showing this at the wedding. Mohaha.

True that Minos =). I would never be an asshole towards her, i think she is having a tought time, but at the same time i think she could handle everything better by talking more. She is a quiet woman that girl.

One more level, and i got a silver portrait... wow. :S

Yeah, feels immature to block people, not my style. I will try to ignore it and keep my shit private so she can't really see anything new anyways. A friend had a theory, that she wants me to talk to her first, since then, she can have it like it was before. Be with her family and then still have me. If she contacts me first on the other hand, she knows i won't accept to have things like they were. I think he is on to something haha

So this woman from my thread started liking pictures on my social media (again). Started to annoy me so i set my shit to private (again), i mean come on. Let me go if you don't want me, what's the point? Why stall me and show me attention? Because she is a woman and she knows that they make guys like me hopeful. Witches. Anyhow, a couple of hours after that she started liking my Facebook posts instead. So i set my future posts to private aswell . I cannot figure out why she wants to show me attention, it used to make me hopeful but now it makes me feel confused. She is messing with my head. I like to think of it as she wants to make sure she is on my mind for some fucked-up reason. So i go to the store, park my car and notice i parked almost next to her car. I keep running into that damn woman (as my sister and ex told me, it is oddly often). As i step out, i see her walking out from the store behind me (timing), i get eye contact, turn around and ignore. She was air. The minute walk into the store i felt so good. All the times ive seen her from the car, waving, making my knees shake because that what she does to me. I get spaghetti legs everytime, and i get home and i miss her again. Not this time, her tricks work no more! I walked tall, bought my shit and went home and enjoyed this feeling. I am sorry to bring this up but i was hoping for input on her behaviour, i want to hear i am right about her trying to linger in the back of my head. Because , that shit is not normal right?

I can imagine how it felt. My granmother told me something similiar, that she could not understand how i got to be "a good kid" when i had such a shitty past with my parents. It felt (for me) like a push to keep doing what i am doing Keep going strong Sprony.

And when is the release? PTR is nice but i want mystery Heroes now

Today i uppercut up in the air from a balcony just to load my punch and land it on a Pharah mid air. I love this hero!

The girl from my thread started appearing in my life again after 6 months. It started with me going back on most social media, and she keeps liking my posts (even tho she is not following me), thats okay. At first i thought it was just me being hopeful of a comeback there even tho i know it's stupid. Until this week. I was about to leave from work when i saw her car from a far, drivning reaaaaally slow. So i kept my eye on it and as i exited my workplace she started driving at a normal 'pace'. Turned into the street where i parked my car and as i got eye contact she waved and smiled. So now i'm mostly annoyed and irritated. 6 months, nothing and now this and stalking me / writing and liking on my social media posts. I'm not playing that game. Even tho i miss her like crazy (still) i am tired of her shit. Her little moves makes me wonder wtf she wants from me. Whats the goddamned point. Haha jesus christ fuck women.

Trust me bro, work out hard at the gym and you will sleep even if a train passes your bed The good kind of exhaustion, that makes you sleep good, and wake up feeling better. Worth a shot right? Half an hour at the gym , 48 half hours per day

My life recently summed up in a gif: But hey, beers tonight, that nice See somebody, talk about it! When my fiance left me i started going to the gym. Eat right, sleep and work out and you will feel so much better, i promise. Just push yourself for a couple of days and the "oh this is so tiresome"-feeling will turn into "Fuck yeah im feeling healthier and stronger. It's really addictive, i should know, i never thought i would be a guy at the gym. I started eating vitamin-d and protein shakes, wich i think helped alot. Also i tried talking to proffessionals, even tho i did not feel that it helped me at the time, i guess it helped me realize i am the one in control of my life. You can always find my thread in off-topic and read my story. Even tho life seems like it is crap (like right now for me and you) it always does turn out good if you do something about it. Even tho you don't know what you should do you should just try stuff, eventually you will find that something that makes you want to get up. Take one day at a time but have somewhat of a goal, just remember its okay not to hit the goal everytime. Much love mate.

Fuck i need to play the first games now. Loved the dialogue!

Gotta love the voice actors. Haha.

Oh was HP in it, i missed him! - N/M Saw him

Some sexy Minos Action.

Nice! I used to usually end up as a healer, but this season i've been playing orisa, s76, pharah and rein alot. I felt i was really good with tracer for a while but she is just not working for me right now. Something with my mouse and mousemat i think. Something feels, off. Haha.

I read an official blizzard post about the ratings and percentage, altho, it was for season 3 now that i think of it. That is great, what is your mains?

Started playing almost only Orisa, damn she puts out some nice damage and the feeling of poppin 3 people down the well on Ilios is great. Finally climbed up to Diamond (through solo queue) but after alot of games with hanzo mains and other trolls i dropped down to 2800 again. Found a nice group and now im finally climbing! Im happy to be in Diamond, since apparantly only 8-10% of the players get that high. Still i want to get higher