Tisky

Congratz !!

Yes i guess its my daughters that get me up from bed, and hope that maybe this day will be different you know. I do not have many options really, moving is out of the picture since i cannot move further away from the kids mother, and moving to Gothenburg (a city i really do not like), or closer to it feels like a downgrade. When i was younger, i had my family here, my brother, my friends, my woman. It's like all those bits and pieces have been lost, piece by piece, and my options are lost with them. Living in a small town in the middle of the woods has its perks when you have children. Safer you know. I had a house together with my ex and she decided to split when the 2008 financial crisis was at a worst. At that point i was guttet and just wantet to move on for the sake of my own mental health, so we sold the house with a loss. Today i got a loan for the rest of this house, wich makes me inable to take a loan for a new apartment. So, if i wanted to move, i would have to take a loan for a new apartment, since, we have taken in so many refugees there are basicly no apartments to get (not even in my town). Zero. You could get in line and wait 10 years for an apartment in a big city tho. So you see, my choices of changing my surroundings are close to zero, wich makes my options close to zero really. The thing that gets me is probably that i don't really know what i can do. I've had my hopes for the education im currently studying, but its a long shot and far away. I went up 07.00 today, on a saturday. I have no idea what im going to do for the rest of the day except some studies, wich makes me feel im wasting time in my life. This drives me crazy, my heart is telling me to find a way, make life better for you and your kids you know, but im not finding any answers or ways to do that. I cant sit around hoping for change. When i was 15 i put down work making maps, mods and what not, i had dreams. I wanted to work for Valve or Blizzard, make games. Thats how i ended up here. Bing bang boom, im 34, and i feel that dreaming is actually nothing more than a dream. It used to be possible to do things. Everytime i climb up a step on that ladder i fall down two steps. Haha

Small advertising production firm

It's been a tough time lately. This year hasn't really been my year. Went out for beers with the few friends i had, they ended up being really weird and mean that evening. This one guy knows the girl i from my threads husband. And he kept talking about how he made a million a year and how he got a amazing car, etc etc. It was like he knew everything and wanted it to burn, just kept ranting. So, i ignore that and we start to talk business. I say i have an idea of how to improve the place i work at, if i would ever take over the company. Hypothetical bullshit talk over beer. Before i could even start explaining they told me it was a fucking stupid idea to take over and whenever i tried to tell them "well, let me explain.." i got interrupted so i got pissed and said "please let me finish". That's when all three told me i was being rude and if i did not stop they would leave. It was like they did not want me there. Stunned i just left, feeling pretty crappy really. So that was a month ago and i have not spoken to them since that. Kinda feels that the few friends i had left here are gone. Also my childrens mother is trying to get the kids to move to her town, 2 hours by car away. It's a battle i did not want to fight again, but i guess i have no choice but to fight till my nails bleed. Without my daughters i got nothing left. Car is breaking down slowly, money is running dry. It's like i am in a hole that i cant get out of no matter how hard i try. I really have a hard time to look at the future positive and with my chin up right now, hopefully, it all works out somehow.

Amazing work guys. some parts of it gives me Borderlands 2 vibes!

I entered "Boobs." As text. Nothing else. Age 100. Lul

We need more of theese 80's songs!! Amazing

Amen to that.

-6 kilos, but, today its beers with friends. My firat day off from workout and healthy diet in a month. Fuck Im about to get drunk and have a awesome night, i can only Hope you guys will have an awesome night also!

Crazy cool!!

I should move to Canada. Sounds like Sweden but better.

So soon i've been doing this for almost a month! And boy, i feel different! Tired and hungoverish feeling in the morning until i get my coffe and breakfast (mostly eggs). Then i wokr, workout and clean the apartment. I got so much energy it's silly!! -4 kilos (good considering i am lifting weights right?). Today i put on an old hoodie that has a zipper on the front. I could not use it before since it was too small (or me to fat). But today, today that hoodie fitted like a glove. Fuck that is a great feeling!! Can't wait to be able to put on a shirt i bought couple of years ago that i've always wanted to wear

Old but gold!